Yeah, yeah, yeah...already behind and only episode two.  It's not like I get paid for this or anybody reads it consistently enough to notice.  <smile>  Thanks for all the gentle reminders and subtle threats, everybody.  I feel so loved.  So the episode starts off with the Jerk talking it up with Copper about her smack talking during the first tribal council....you know when she said she didn't trust him.  <chuckle>  This guy is a huge control junkie.  She says we can still talk even though I don't trust you and he's like ok but you see what happened to the last dumb ass girl that stood up against me...Copper, now might not be the best time to stick your neck out there.

 

Then Sweater Vest agrees to allign himself with the Jerk...because you really have to be in an alliance with somebody.  Then the Jerk starts going on and on about the hidden immunity idol.  I think he's a moron for bringing it up because no one has even said there is one.  Sweater Vest thinks he's a moron for bringing it up.  And admit it, so did you.  So what does he do?  Yup, he finds it.  Without any clues, under everybody's nose.  He's rooting around in a tree trunk in the middle of camp like a freak and again....nobody asks a single freaking question about what the hell the guy is doing down there.  So he hides it in his drawers and then tells Sweater Vest about it the first chance he gets.  <shaking my head>  I hate him more because he's stupidly lucky. 

 

Over at Glue we get to meet another Sucker, I mean Survivor...and that would be Yasmin.  Like Jasmine...but not.  She's complaining like I would be.  About how much she hates nature and it's so uncomfortable and blah blah blah.  Here's how she and I are different - I did not voluntarily let them strand me on an island out in the middle of NOWHERE.  You idiot.  Stop complaining.  It's a million bucks.  They're not gonna just give it to you! 

 

Time for the Reward Challenge.  Kind of rugby, except the guys aren't as hot and there are girls.  And the rules are don't do anything Jeffy poo thinks is a cheap shot.  Three people in the pit from each team fight for balls which they throw up to three other members who have to shoot the balls to the opposite side of the pit into baskets.  Skull cracking violence ensues until Jeffy poo ejects Country Boy for tripping the lawyer....which basically caused Foo Foo to lose because they were down a person in the rest of the challenge.  Although Sweater Vest did put on a valiant effort.

 

The Fat Chef was apparently too fat for the challenge and suffered from extremely low blood pressure afterwards.  The Medical people....who always seem to have an Australian accent for some reason...pulled him from the game.  That was kind of too bad but he probably would have been voted out next anyway.  And I'm thinking ok, that's it for the week right?  Oh no, Jeffy poo says you're still voting someone out Foo Foo.  See you at Tribal.

 

Cut back over to Glue, who hasn't gotten a whole lot of air time since they don't suck so much.  They won some fishing gear in the challenge so Shambo takes it out for a spin.  Except of course she can't really use it, doesn't catch anything even though she's out in the ocean for hours and also ends up breaking the snorkel mask.  Not normally a devastating event but this is Survivor Land.  She may as well have peed in the water well.  The other twist in this season is the winning tribe gets to send someone from their tribe to the losing tribe to 'observe' until tribal council.  So the Lawyer Leader of Glue sends nature-hating Jasmine with a 'Y' over to Foo Foo. 

 

I don't like her.  She immediately starts patronizing the losers and if this had intentionally been to demoralize them, good on ya.  But it wasn't.  She seriously thought she was doing some good.  I hate people who cannot read reactions in other people, or who are purposefully oblivious to it.  We emote.  It's one of our gifts as humans.  Take advantage, you nincompoops.  So anyway, nobody at Foo Foo likes her either, especially Country Boy.  She immediately tells him she needs to talk to him and then confronts him with accusations about tripping a girl (that would be her) during the reward challenge.  Or actually she made it sound like he body slammed her into a concrete floor and then smacked a chair across her back.  He, rather unfortunately, attempted to use logic and reason to point out that it was a competition and she was a threat to his competitors.  No, no, no....Country Boy she was just looking for an apology.  Sometimes women just want you to apologize, even if you're right.  Being right is sometimes irrelevant, we just want an apology.  Don't ask for what, it's for whatever reason our scary minds have conjured up and there is no way you will be able to understand so don't ask.  Just apologize.  He didn't and then it got ugly.  A screaming match later and Country Boy was calling her ghetto trash and making fun of her grammar....which I know I do to people too but will never do again because dear Lord did he sound like a snob.

 

So the Editors try to make it look like there's a chance Country Boy will be going home, because he's a trouble maker and he was chopping wood in the middle of the night waking everybody up....big no no on Survivor.  Any fan would know that.  But he's not going home.  It's obviously Copper.  During Tribal Council she points out that she was the only one to bring her bags....a good sign you're going home.  Jeffy poo makes them vote anyway.  Once the votes are read, the decision is final.  The person voted out will have to leave the tribal council area immediately.  And of course it's Copper.  So the two old farts are off of Foo Foo....and the Jerk is an early favorite to go far in this game.  And that makes me clench my fists in fury over the unfairness of it all...I am personally rooting for Sweater Vest.  And maybe next week we'll get to meet the rest of the cast that is apparently too boring to get on TV...I might get this week's episode recap done in a more timely fashion and then again I might not.  Hold yourselves together, I haven't forgotten about anything.

 

Later gators,

Heather