What a long strange trip it’s been…these past few months.  Season 8 started in January.  I know!  That was like a million years ago….I have watched every single episode of this show that has ever been aired.  And tonight is no exception.  The date is May 20, 2009.  “It’s starting!  It’s starting!” I scream hysterically at the Hubby as I run around in circles in front of the TV high off of too much sugar and caffeine.  The Hubby is rolling his eyes around so much I think he may do permanent damage to his vision.  He just keeps repeating under his breath, last show last show last show last show….he’s a glass half full kind of guy, if you hadn’t realized that from all my previous descriptions.  It all ends tonight.  It’s Dramadama or Kermit.  One of them will be your Idol.  Here’s Seacrest in his black suit and tie, hello friends he says like we’re buddies.  This gets a big snort out of the Hubby.  There are a lot of celebs in the audience tonight.  Ryan says you’re all lucky to be here….oh ho ho ho really?  Then he says we need to pay respect to the judges.  Ok.  Here’s Randy in his big red bowtie and they showed a montage of him saying “for me for you”.  Heeheehee….that was actually pretty funny.  Kara is wearing her hair up and a black strapless number.  Her montage was of her saying “sweetie” and “honey”.  Wow….she did say that a lot.  I just got so hung up on her saying arti-<clunk> zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.   Oh!  What happened!  I’m back….no worries.  Paula looks fabulous, as usual, in a gold strapless dress.  Her montage was about her big vocabulary.  I’m guessing she got one of those word-of-the-day calendars for Christmas last year and has been making good use of it this season.  And the Simon.  Black jacket and chest hair <shiver>….his montage was about his hearing problems.  He says “what” a lot….<chuckle>…..which is ironic.  Unless you know what irony means.  And now let’s ogle the kiddies, dressed all in white, like they’re about to do a rendition of Teen Angel.  Seacrest is talking to them about how nervous they are and their mics aren’t working…just to prove this is a live show.  Cut to Conway Arkansas where Mikalah Gordon is pumping up Kris’s hometown crowd.  You remember Mikalah, right?  The Fran Drescher look-alike.  And then cut over to San Diego where Carly Smithson is pumping up Adam’s hometown crowd.  She’s the Irish one with the bad tattoos.  Ahhhhhh, the benefits of being on this show……getting to be constantly reminded that you did not win by being asked to do retarded things like this. 

 

Now we get to hear the Idolettes singing their first performance of the night – So What.  The Hubby asked if we could fast forward through this….at which point I commandeered the remote.  I wanted to listen to the whole thing….and he just started mumbling along with the song, so what so what so what so what.  After the break, Cookie is there to perform his song ‘Permanent’.  Green spooky light is behind him, some piano in the background.  He’s wearing a vest, black arm band (which I assume is for his brother) and he’s sporting the scruffy goatee that looks so good on him.  It’s a very pretty, kind of a sad song.  When he’s done, he chats with Ryan about his brother briefly, puts on a brave face.  The proceeds from the iTunes sale of this song will go to a cancer research fund in his brother’s name….and his voice kind of cracked on that one.  Classy guy….

 

….and then I did a double-take and actually rewound the dvr.  That was Justin Guarini in the audience!  AAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA.  And the Hubby goes, well it’s not like he has anything better to do.  Well said. my dear.  Well said.

 

Time for the worst part of the show – the ridiculous Golden Idol awards.  <sigh>  I guess it wouldn’t be Idol if they had no cheese involved.  The first award goes to “Outstanding Male”.  There were a few awful singers including Michael Grrrrrrrrrrrr (remember that guy!) nominated and the last nomination was for Norman Gentle.  HAHAHAHAHAHA.  Of course he won…and pretended like he wasn’t expecting it and didn’t prepare anything and then he rips off his jacket and there is the Norman Gentle costume, headband and all.  And he sings something horrible and walks out of the audience.  I’m sure that was supposed to be funny….but it kind of wasn’t.  Now back to the singing.  Lil Rounds is singing with Queen Latifah, ‘Cue the Rain’.  They both look fabulous and they harmonize really well together.  I guess that’s the perk of having a top ten that can actually sing….and not just a top two.  Then we’re right into the next song with Dolly and Anoop de Loop Loop singing with Jason Miraz ‘I’m Yours’.  Then all the Idolettes come out to sing….I kind of like this song.  It wasn't that bad.

 

Now we’re rehashing the Idol Journey of Kermit.  Remember he auditioned at Churchill Downs?  Ok, so he sings ‘Kiss A Girl’ with Keith Urban.  They were both playing the guitar.  After some really caustic comments about country music, the Hubby left the room.  So I can go gaga over them both.  It was kind of a flirty song for two guys to be singing together, but again they sounded great.  The next performance was with the girls singing ‘Glamorous’….and they bring out Fergie!  Man….she is sooooooooo pretty.  I wonder if my calves would look like that if I wore five inch heels?  Probably not….because I would be in a cast after I broke my ankles from trying.  Fergie sings Big Girls Don’t Cry….not really with the Idolettes, they were kind of there as back-up singers.  And then the Black Eyed Peas come out to sing a song.  Something about Boom Boom….but this was the only interesting part – Fergie has a line that ends with ‘swag it’…..and then she goes to sing the next line and <cut to American Idol emblem> Some dead air and the Hubby and I (yes he did come back in the room to gaga over Fergie) are just looking at each other….hmmmm….what rhymes with swag it?  And why would they sing that line?  ‘Let’s get it started’ wasn’t how that song originally went either….<chuckle>…..

 

Time for more ridiculous fake awards.  This one is for best attitude.  <sigh>  Bikini Girl wins it and this is when I realize they are obviously making up these awards to give them an excuse to bring back some fan favorites.  And trust me, by the drool the Hubby was wiping off himself, this disgusting little pig is a fan favorite.  Randy’s eyes are literally popping out of his head.  Seacrest says, well I was gonna ask what’s new but I think I know.  <pssssst – she has brand new boobs>  Good for you honey.  Boobs can get you lots of things.  Respect is highly overrated.  Don’t judge me people.  She is a gravity-defying twenty-something pin-up girl and yes I hate her.  Hate her with everything I am.  They ask her to sing….oh come ON.  No one wants to actually hear her sing…..but I look over at the Hubby and even he is too mesmerized to mute the TV.  <chuckle>  Ahhhhh….boys are so easy.  You really are.  But here’s where this charade actually got funny.  Kara comes out behind Piggy and starts singing the song.  Like a pro.  And Piggy has such a complex that she actually stops singing and gets this pissy little look on her face.  AAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.  Stealing your spotlight!!  AAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.  And Kara can actually sing.  SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much better than Piggy, proved very concretely on that last note.  But it’s not over yet – Kara rips open her dress to reveal her own bikini.  You GO GIRL!  Of course she looks amazing, but immediately feels self conscious next to Piggy.  Apparently the judges bet her she wouldn’t do that and since she did, she gets a big donation to her charity….whatever that is…..no one said.  Piggy is still annoyed that Kara is on the stage and is making faces.  Classy.  Don’t worry honey, you don’t need to be classy or talented to get places in this world.  The boobs will be enough.

 

Time for more singing.  Red is singing with Cyndi Lauper – ‘Time After Time’.  I love Cyndi Lauper and I love this song.  What is that instrument she’s playing?  A sitar?  I have no idea.  But of course it sounds great….they really have done a good job pairing up the kiddies with singers that work well with their voices….absolutely beautiful.  Speaking of which, time for Ironman to sing.  Awwwww…I wish he could have been in the finals.  No….no I don’t.  I like Kermit….but I like him too.  Awwwwwww…..so he’s singing with Lionel Richie and yes, they sound perfect together too.  Well done!

 

Now we get to see Adam’s Idol Journey recap.  And here he is for his song and he’s wearing the weirdest thing I have ever seen….like big iron shoulder pads…..except they're like cages.  I don’t know how to describe it….so he’s singing with KISS.  Obviously.  Rock and Roll All Night.  That’s appropriate.  I’m not a big Kiss fan, but it was fun.  The next performance is from Carlos Santana on the guitar, ‘Black Magic Woman’.  Dumbo is singing with him and then all the Idolettes come out and sing with him.  For sounding so good by themselves….they really don’t sound that good together.

 

Time for the final Ford commercial music video horror show of the season.  It’s a recap of all the other creepy commercial music video horror shows to the song ‘I Will Remember You’.  Ok….glad that’s over.  Cookie comes on screen and says it’s time to surprise Kermit and Drama.  Surprise….yeah right.  They did kind of look surprised, but everybody knew they were getting cars.  Cute little Ford Fusions.  Nice.  Moving on, now it’s time for the Rougneck and Tattoo to sing with none other than Steve Martin on the banjo.  The song is called ‘Pretty Flowers’ and the Hubby and I are fairly certain this is from a bit on SNL.  Steve is coming out with an album….oh really?  I’d probably buy that.

 

More music….the Idolettes are singing ‘If You Want My Body’…the boys are all dressed up like Reservoir Dogs.  They sound terrible.  But here comes Rod Stewart in a great plaid jacket.  Aha!  He sounds pretty good for being like 900 years old. 

 

And the latest ridiculous Golden Idol award is for Outstanding Female.  <sigh>  I have a sinking suspicion I already know who is going to win this.  Yup….I’m right because the world hates me….it’s the Devil Woman Tatiana.  Ryan announces that they’re out of time and he’ll give her the award later.  But she gets right up and walks onstage anyway….this was obviously scripted but at the same time kind of funny.  He says, we have to go to break and she grabs the mic away from him and starts singing and then security is chasing her all over the stage and she just keeps singing….right into the break.  <chuckle>  Ok….ok.  Maybe she’s not the “Devil” woman I thought she was…..<smack in the head>…..what am I saying?!?!?  Of course she is….

 

We’re already over on time I think….I taped this like an hour long so there wouldn’t be a chance I’d miss anything so I’m not exactly sure where we are….but we’re close to the end.  Seacrest asks the Simon what he wants to say to the contestants and he blurts out, ‘I don’t normally mean this, but you are both incredibly talented, unusually nice guys.  The future is yours.’  Awwwww….I think that’s about as sappy as the Cowell is going to get.

 

Dim the lights.  It’s time.  AAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!  The Hubby is looking at me with the Look….clearly wondering when his wife became brain damaged.  Without a whole lot of ado, Seacrest announces the winner.  It’s KRIS!!!  Kermit wins!!!  I am quite literally speechless….and so is he….who saw this coming?  I’ll tell you who….me.  That’s right.  Two years in a row, I have liked the winner.  Two years in a row my super-vote has made the difference.  That’s one out of 100 million according to the anonymous bean counter that certified the results.  <smile>  Kermit wins!  The Hubby immediately starting mumbling about conspiracy theories with the Christian right, etc etc.  I think it’s because people got tired of the screaming from Drama.  Regardless, like Daughtry, Drama is now free to do his own thing.  And Kris has the backing of the all-powerful AI machine behind him now.  <big smile>  He stutters and plutters over thank yous and I don’t know what to say and blah blah blah.  Ryan thanks the judges, Ricky Miner and the band and us.  Of course.

 

And then they make him song.  The AI song, No Boundaries.  He manages to make it sound better than it is….which by itself should have won him the competition.  

 

Well, <big sigh>  it’s over.  The Hubby waited about 0.8 seconds before he deleted the program and switched the channel to basketball.  I have a feeling I will go into AI withdrawal very soon and start criticizing people and judging them for no good reason….oh wait.  What am I saying?  I’m an auditor!!!  That’s totally my job!!!  AAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. 

 

Till next season gators,

Heather

 

It’s time.  97% of the other shows I watch are already over….this is the last performance show on American Idol, Season 8.  <whimper>  I don’t know what the hell I am supposed to do with no TV on….I might have to actually start talking to the Hubby again.  Hahahahahahaha….Ryan informs us that two are left standing.  He’s wearing a slate gray shiny suit and tie.  He calls it a showdown between the acoustic rocker and the glam rocker.  Ok.  Do you know he has been using this boxing analogy for YEARS now…it’s old Ryan.  Find something new. Here are our judges.  Our wonderfully neurotic judges.  Randy has a ridiculously crazy-looking clown suit on.  Kara is wearing a glamorous black number.  Paula is wearing neon green.  And Simon?  Simon is wearing buttons.  Not buttoning the buttons….just wearing them.  <sigh>  Chest hair is gross Simon…come on.  And here are the kiddies – Kermit and Drama looking queasy and nervous.  There was the normal coin toss last week to see who would go first and Kermit won and decided to let Drama kick it off.  There are three songs to sing tonight – the kiddies pick their favorite song from the season, Simon Fuller picks a song for them, and then they both have to sing the AI8 song that was co-written by Kara.  So….lots of stuff we’ve already heard.  That’s wonderful.  Seacrest starts warning us now that tomorrow’s finale show may run long.  AAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.  Oh Ryan.  We know it will run long.  You don’t have to warn us.  This show has ended on time, I’d say, three out of 64 times.  Nice going.

 

Dramadama starts everything off with his pick – Mad World.  He comes out on stage in fog, backlit with green spooky lights.  He’s wearing a long coat, that is actually pretty cool.  The song sounds exactly the same as it did the last time we heard it.  Pretty good.  But I’ve heard it already.  He has a lot of intense looks into the camera….and manages not to make them oogy.  Randy says, so check it out, we got to see your sensitive side, A+.  A for Adam.  <cringe>  Kara says I’m so happy you picked that song.  And then she says something about being an artist and I blacked out immediately.  Paula says blah blah, more subdued, introverted, blah blah, theatrical.  Simon says it was your best performance, kind of over-theatrical…reminded him of Phantom of the Opera.  Then Randy pipes in that it’s more Twilight….that will win him all the Edward Cullen fans.

 

Sir Anthony Hopkins is in the audience tonight.  I love him.  He reminds me of my dad for some reason.  Anyway, so Kermit is singing his pick – Ain’t No Sunshine.  Another slow song….that I’ve heard already!!!  It’s very pretty and since I am kind of biased on his side, naturally I love it.  And he can play the piano….which I think is very cool.  Randy says yo, dude, check it out, hope the Lakers win, best ever.  Way to stay on topic Randy.  Kara says whatever Randy said and something about an intimate bond.  Paula says you awaken spirits, especially mine since I’m drunk.  And then she said artist and I blacked out immediately.  Simon says when your name was announced last week, I wasn’t sure it was the right choice.  But after that performance, I take it all back.  Round one goes to Kris. 

 

Simon Fuller picked ‘Change Is Gonna Come’ for Drama to sing.  This is a very bluesy, soulful song for him.  He’s wearing a Seacrest suit.  And there’s that scream.  Oh good….I thought maybe he might go a whole song without screaming like a banshee.  I think this is too much of a soul song, and he’s turning it into his normal screamy rock song performance.  The Hubby is cringing.  And complaining.  Vociferously.  Randy calls the song an amazing R&B classic, he wipes the drool off his chin and then says you can sing your face off!  Kara calls this his best performance and interpretation of a song ever.  Paula says this is the best I’ve ever heard you sing.  Ever.  Ever ever.  Simon says you are 100% back in the game, congratulations.

 

Simon Fuller picked ‘What’s Going On’ for Kermit to sing.  He’s playing his acoustic guitar.  It’s beautiful.  I’m not so sure about the song choice….but whatever, he did the best with what he had.  Randy says a little bit light for this competition….<sigh>….he didn’t pick the song Randy.  Kara says you’ve always been true to yourself.  Artist.  And I am in a coma now.  Paula says you tore that song up!  Somebody get me another “coke”[she even did air quotes, swear to God].  Simon says he loved the song, but it was like listening to three friends in their bedroom strumming along to the song, too laid back.  He DID NOT pick the song Simon!  Button your shirt!!!

 

Now we get to hear Kara’s song.  It’s called ‘No Boundaries’.  And it was co-written by Kara.  By Kara.  Did you get that?  Kara co-wrote this song, thus justifying her entire existence on this show.  So I don’t know if he’s off or it’s the song (co-written by Kara)…but this doesn’t sound so good.  And he’s cry-screaming….again.  I don’t know if I could listen to a whole album of that scream…I really don’t.  He is wearing cool pants though.  Now I sound like Paula…maybe I’m drunk too.  Randy says, I’ve said it before, you can sing the phone book.  Okay, first of all, if you’ve said it before there is really no reason to say it again, or to say it 800 hundred billion times.  Second, wouldn’t it be hysterical if someone did come out and sing the phonebook?  <chuckle>  Kara said amazing, so proud.  I co-wrote that song.  Paula says adjectives cannot describe it.  AAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.  Oh Paula….stop mocking me.  She’s a fan forever.  Simon says over the entire season, you have been one of the best most original contestants.  He genuinely believes they have found a worldwide star, congratulations.  Seacrest calls him a class act.

 

Now Kermit is singing a song called ‘No Boundaries’.  You may have heard this before….and by before I of course mean, like three minutes ago.  I like the way Kermit sings it better….but he sounds off a little too.  Now, because I got to hear it twice in a row, I know for certain that I don’t like this song.  Randy says be proud of yourself, the song fit your voice better.  Kara says Artist.  And I’m out.  Paula says take it all in, you deserve the spotlight.  Simon says he’s amazed at how far Kris has come over the entire season.  You deserve to be there right now.  Seacrest says it was a fun fun fight.  Oh Ryan….no one ever describes a boxing match as a fun fun fight…..

 

And now to close out the show, Miss Carrie Underwear sings the biggest loser song of this season – Home Sweet Home.  And while the Hubby grumbles about the original and whatnot, I do notice that she sounds great.  Tomorrow is a big deal….the finale shows are always great.  Can’t wait.

 

Later gators,

Heather

 

 

I have been in mourning gentle reader.  In mourning over my Capitals.  The last game was a heart breaker.  We looked awful.  Varly the Kid was pulled out of the goal after giving up four.  Everybody looked off.  So depressing.  What a terrible way to go out….and to all teams, it had to be the Pens.  So depressing.  Anyway, I have been very lax in my duties to this blog and I apologize.  Still don’t have internet access at work….so I have had to…you know…..work while I’m there.  Instead of do this….

 

Last week we found out who would be in the finals.  The show starts with Ben Stiller shilling his new movie ‘Night at the Museum 2’.  It’s probably a cute movie, in that really retarded way some cute movies have about them.  But if I ever see it, it’ll be on DVD.  Ryan is wearing a gray suit and a shiny tie.  He tells us that just over 1 million votes separates the top two.  Huh.  The kiddies are already out of stage sitting in the Stools of Fate.  <chuckle>  Randy looks like the purple people eater.  Kara is wearing some trashy lace thing.  Paula looks like a cowgirl in a black lace up number.  And Simon is wearing his somber grey.  Jordin Sparks and Katy Perry are singing tonight.  Woo.  Hoo.

 

We start with this week’s Ford music video commercial horror show.  Ironman, Dramadama and Kermit are all cartoons.  The commercial is to the song ‘Break My Stride’….it’s creepy.  As usual.  Then Alicia Keys comes out to talk about Idol Gives Back and beg for money…since they didn’t have a charity show this year.  She is so pretty.  Now they bring out a kid from Rwanda.  His name is Noah and he is singing ‘I’m The World’s Greatest’ and unless you have no soul and your heart is a black ice cold stone in your chest….this was very sweet.  The kid is jumping and dancing all over the stage, so excited to be there.  He learned to sing the song in English in one week.  He shakes all of the judges hands….awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww….so adorable.  Alicia commands us to text our donations in….hey.  Wait just one minute.  She’s not singing too?!?!?!  What the hell is going on here?!?!?!?

 

Seacrest talks about the Summer Tour.  Again.  We know already, enough about the stupid tour!  So Ironman comes out on stage and we get to hear about his trip home to Milwaukee.  He got to see Jamar.  You remember this guy, right?  His best bud from the tryouts.  He talks about going from tragedy to triumph.  Remember, he’s a widow.  A recent widow.  He goes on the morning news, radio shows, the mayor announces that it’s Gokey Day in Milwaukee….which is hysterical because a Gokey doesn’t sound like a good thing.  And there’s a parade.  Some random kid thinks Ironman is the best because he’s cute, he has good glasses (as opposed to bad, kids know more than you think) and he lives in Milwaukee.  That’s called being a homer kid.  Way to go.  He’s crying….and there are a TON of people gathered to hear him sing.  He got to throw out a pitch at the baseball game.  He calls it a bittersweet homecoming.  I bet….Ryan recaps his singing.  And then tells him to sit down, shut up….and wait.  In the Stools of Fate.

 

Now we get to see Kermit go home.  To Conway Arkansas.  Arkansas?  Huh.  We drove through Arkansas once on our way somewhere else.  All I can remember is it smelled weird.  And by weird, I mean bad.  Anyway, we find out that he gets free cheese dip for life from his favorite restaurant.  Free cheese dip?  Well, you know you’ve made it now Kermit.  He goes on the news, does a radio show and performs at the Riverfest Ampitheater.  His poppa is very proud.  Proud poppas are the best, aren’t they?  He sings at the University of Central Arkansas.  I’m watching all this go on and all I can wonder is….how long is that wife of his gonna last?  I know I’m a cynic, but Daughtry’s wife didn’t last too long after he made it big.  I feel kind of bad for in her….but not really.  He sings in Simon Park…..irony?  He tells the crowd that they have changed his life.  Yes, yes they have.  Seacrest recaps his singing.  Now SIT!  In the Stools of Fate.

 

We get a break now with Jordin Sparks singing ‘Battlefield’.  Ryan Tedder co-wrote the song and is playing the piano.  I wish he was singing.  She looks amazing.  The song kind of grew on me after a while…but I really just wanted to listen to Tedder playing the piano.  Pretty good….I didn’t fast forward through it, which is a good sign.

 

Now Drama goes home to San Diego.  Some girl streaked across the stage….except she didn’t really look naked.  I didn’t see any unnatural blurring going on.  She was just in her bra.  What a fraidy cat…..if you’re gonna do something like that, do it right.  He goes on a morning news show too, and the woman co-anchor was totally hysterical.  He does a radio show too.  And then he goes to the Met, a theater group he was in as a kid.  And he talks to the kids, which was kind of cute.  He said it was a big full circle moment….ok.  Then he goes to Mt. Carmel high school.  And then the Marine Corps Air Station….or something.  I may have gotten that wrong.  I don’t think his parents live in San Diego….why didn’t he see them?  Anyway, Ryan recaps his singing and then tells him to park it.  In the Stools of Fate.

 

Katy Perry sings.  The song is called ‘Waking Up in Vegas’….which conjures up all kinds of nightmarish scenarios.  Cause you don’t really sleep much in Vegas.  She has the buggy eyes that give me the eebie geebies…..the song gets a little annoying too.  She has a very very weird outfit on.  But hey, it’s Vegas baby. 

 

So 88 million votes were cast.  Good golly miss molly, don’t you people have anything better to do?!?!?!    And now, it’s go-time.  Finally time for the results.  Finally time to get the kiddies off the very uncomfortable looking Stools of Fate.  The first person competing next week is <dramatic pause>  Kris.  WHAT?!?!?  NO WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY?!?!  I did not see that coming.  They surprise me on this show, all the time.  Pleasantly surprise me….how nice.  I like Kermit…he might be my favorite right now.  And then without much ado, Seacrest announces that Drama is competing against him.  Time to say goodbye to Danny boy.  We see his Idol Journey and relive a lot of the moments he had on the show.  And now he has to sing – You Are So Beautiful.  With a brave smile, he says goodbye.  The finale is set – Drama versus Kermit.  Simon calls the finale show a big ding dong….<sigh>….I guess that’s British for a good thing. 

 

Later gators,

Heather

It’s the final three….we are dangerously close to being done with the whole shebang this season….<sigh>.  I’ll try to keep it together.  Seacrest comes out in a nice black suit and tie.  He announces that tonight is the show’s 300^th episode.  He refers to the kiddies as the three amigos.  Huh.  Randy is wearing a navy blue striped shirt and blue glasses.  Kara has some weird boxy gray thing on, while Paula is all glitz and glamour.  And here’s Simon in his white t-shirt and chest hair.  Drama, Kermit and Ironman went home over the weekend.  We get to see all that nonsense during the vote-off show.  The boys are singing two songs tonight – one that the judge’s pick for them and one they pick for themselves.  So let’s get started.

 

Ironman is up first.  Paula picked his song for him – Dance Little Sister by Terence Trent D’arby.  I don’t think I’ve heard this song before….but at least Danny boy has a great voice.  I don’t think I’ve heard this song and I don’t like it…..he sounds angry.  Randy says you have a lotta energy, that was dope.  Kara says that song hit the money spot with your voice, but the dancing was too gyrating.  <quizzical look>  What?  Paula says, well I’m a choreographer and I think the dancing was great.  Oh….oh ho ho ho….MEOW.  Paula being catty with Kara…this will be an awesome night.  Simon called the dancing desperate and then says he thinks it was the wrong song.  Paula is trying to say something and Simon won’t let her talk…in fact, it looks like he’s choking her….hehehehe….now they are distracting Ryan with their antics.  Since the cameras won’t show any of it, we just got a lot of sideways glances from Ryan and Danny boy chuckling.  Apparently Paula was hitting Simon.  Oh boy.  This WILL be an awesome night.

 

Kara and Randy picked the song for Kermit – Apologize, by One Republic.  I hope your remember that Archie sang this with the actual band.  I hope you also remember that Ryan, the lead singer, totally blew him out of the water.  This is a great song though…I love it.  Kermy is playing the piano, just like Ryan does.  It was pretty good, but he couldn’t really hit the high notes and he didn’t change it at all….pretty good but not as good.  The girls love him though.  Randy says this is your kind of song.  Kara says it was a confident performance, but I wish you had made it your own.  Paula like the song, said he hit a loud bum note, she’s proud of him and his artistic license.  Simon is confused by Paula and then he tells Kara that she can’t pick a song for someone and then criticize them for singing it…if she wanted it done differently, she should have changed the arrangement.  He thinks Kara and Randy let him down.  Wow….this is getting totally out of control.

 

I don’t know if anybody else noticed this but AI was throwing around a lot of numbers last night, more than usual.  Writing binary code is easier than remembering all these god***n numbers…..

 

Drama is up next.  Simon picked his song.  Of course.  And he’s singing One (more numbers, great) by U2.  Apparently Simon spoke to Bono personally about permission to use the song.  Nice.  It starts off slow and soft and pretty and then he gets screamy.  But in a good way.  A rocker, on key way.   It was the best so far.  Randy says you’re still in the zone, hottest, a really talented guy.  Kara says you’re a strategist and then gives Drama all the credit for changing the arrangement….even though Simon JUST SAID that he did that.  <frustrated sigh>  I hate her so much.  Pay ATTENTION!!  Paula tells Simon to stop gloating, one brilliant song, one superb performance, one American idol.  Wow….if people were able to jinx other people, I would think these guys were giving it their best shot.  Simon says it was a brilliant song choice <chuckle>, and then he says if you’re not in the finals, it will be one of the biggest upsets ever.  Are they building this up on purpose?  For all of you conspiracy theorists out there….are they making sure he’s not locked into an AI contract?

 

Ok, intermission time and Seacrest talks about Idol Gives Back.  Over the past two years they have raised over $140 million for charity and whatnot.  They didn’t do a charity show this year, did they?  Huh, bad economy….I guess.  Anyhoo, Carrie Underwood is in Angola.  That’s in Africa.  She’s telling us about the kiddies dying of malaria and how mosquito nets can save them.  This is very depressing.  Depressing that over 3,000 kids die a day from something that is so preventable…

 

Ok, <sniff>, time for the second round of singing now that I could totally care less who wins this show….Ironman picked ‘You Are So Beautiful’ by Joe Cocker.  Ok.  He’s sitting center stage, in a spot light.  It’s nice and soft at the start, and then he brings it up, and then back down for a nice quiet sweet finish.  This was sooooooo much better than the first song.  This is the Danny everybody fell in love with, the heart broken widow.  Randy says you can really really really sing.  Good job Randy.  Kara calls it stunning.  Paula says you left us breathless, magic, infusing something, blah blah blah, not making any sense, you nailed it.  Simon says he loved the song, not the arrangement, but it was a vocal master class.  And without a break –

 

We’re on to Kermit.  He picked Heartless by Kanye West.  What a weird pick, right?  He’s singing with his acoustic guitar.  And that’s it.  Practically a capella.  And that was actually……….really good.  Wow, this is gonna be a tough choice.  Randy calls it the toughest voting choice ever, better than the original, in it to win it.  Kara called him bold, brave, fearless and perfect.  Paula calls him the bravest artist for singing about Simon, keeps you relevant, bravo.  Simon says after the lame first song choice he had pretty much written Kris off, but that has totally changed.  Oh boy…..

 

And last but certainly not least, Dramadama is singing Aerosmith – Crying.  He’s got his punk outfit on, which is cool.  I think this is what he prefers.  The backup singing sounds too loud in the beginning, but nobody can sing over Drama when he starts to scream.  I actually….did not like this as much…..I don’t know why.  This guy is certainly talented.  But the screamy thing doesn’t always work every time.  Randy calls him one of the best, most charismatic contestants, you should be a rock star.  Kara is puzzled, who hits those notes and can still talk the next day?  Paula talks about frequent flyer miles and says see you next week.  Simon says he’s not gonna suck up, the show is about finding a star and people should vote for you because you deserve it based on talent.  And then Drama was very humble, saying anything could happen.  Very good Drama, nice and humble.  You needed that to get some of the judge’s slobber off of you.

 

Honestly, nobody choked.  The judges’ picks were worthless.  The kiddies picked the better songs tonight.  I have no idea who it’s going to.  Absolutely no idea. 

 

 

And that is pretty cool. 

Later gators,

Heather

 

p.s. Game 7 against the Pens tonight, the Caps are playing at home.  It’s win, or go home.  And we must beat them…..because I cannot STAND the Pens.  Please everybody, think positive thoughts about Washington hockey tonight….

Ok, first things first.  The Capitals have made this the most stressful season ever….they were ahead two games to none….and then they lost the next three.  Last night they were on the brink of elimination.  Against the Pens <hissssssssssssss>, in Pittsburgh <hissssssssssssss>, and the game went to overtime.  AAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!  Of course we won.  Because the Hubby’s play-off beard has grown out to the point that he looks like a Sherpa.  Heeheehee….Game 7 is tomorrow night.  We have to beat the Pens.  We have to.  I hate that team with such a passion….

 

Anyhoo…last Wednesday was go-time for the Idolers.  Ryan was wearing a black suit and tie….looking dapper as usual.  He tells us that 64 million votes were cast.  Holy crap.  That’s a lot!  You people really care about this one….then he says hi to the top four.  Randy is wearing red, Kara is wearing black, Paula has some snakeskin thing on and Simon looks exceedingly comfortable in his normal black t-shirt.  We start off the filler-fest with the Ford music video horror show of the week….in which the kiddies looked like creepy paper dolls.  Running around in 2-d and for some reason this made me think of Nightmare on Elm Street….I don’t know why.  But it gave me the eebie geebies. 

 

Then the kiddies sang – School’s Out.  Slash on guitar, in his top hat.  Looking a little old which of course makes me feel like the crypt keeper again.  The guitar sounded great, the kiddies sounded ok.  Ryan talks about the summer tour for the eight billionth time and then he talks to the kiddies….like we care what they have to say at this point.  Kermit is surprised he’s there, Drama loved this week, Ironman watched his performance back and thought his scream was hysterical, and Red was proud of herself for talking back to Simon.

 

Now it’s time for the first performance of the night….which was Miss Abdul.  First though AI felt it necessary to do a little video montage of the life and time of Paula, so that anyone who didn’t know would understand how ridiculously successful she has actually been.  It’s kind of nuts when you think about it….she’s so clearly out of her mind….and yet…..she’s sold like a billion trillion records.  <shaking my head>  She’s singing ‘I’m Just Here for the Music’.  Well….not really singing.  She is dancing, and the dancing is great.  The song is a little annoying…but she can really dance.  Total fluff, kind of cheesy, exactly what we all expected.  But undeniably Paula.

 

Then we get a performance from No Doubt and the oh so adorable Gwen Stefani.  She’s just precious.  And such a rocker chick.  I think she’s great.  They sang an oldie, I’m Just  A Girl.  And they, along with the entire population of musicians on the planet, are going on tour this summer.  They’re doing it kind of backwards, going on tour to inspire a new album. 

 

Ryan explains that the top three will get to go home next week anyway, for the star treatment.  You know, the parades, and the key to the city, and all that nonsense that they eat up with a spoon.  If I went back to my high school town with this kind of hoopla surrounding me….it might be cool.  But it might require decades of therapy to get over too.  Ok, so bring out the four.  Ryan is going to announce the first safe one.  It’s Kermit.  Chris with a K.  Kind of a surprise….but Seacrest did say they were announcing them in no particular order.  I like Kermit, I’m glad he’s in the finals. 

 

Back from the break and it’s time to hear Mr. Chris Daughtry.  The one, the only…..if any of you don’t know, I am totally in love with this guy.  And he still looks great.  And their band is coming out with another album….which I will definitely be buying.  He’s singing No Surprise, the first single.  YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY.  It’s great, but who cares.  He is so easy on the eyes….5 million albums sold of the debut.  I have one, by the way, in case anyone wants to borrow it. 

 

The second person safe is…………..Drama.  Yeah, we knew that.  It’s down to Red and Ironman.  Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand, Ironman is safe.  Awwww….I think I would have been sad either way, but it’s too bad for Red.  Danny boy seemed genuinely surprised, surprised I guess that anyone could forgive him for that horrendous scream.  So we watch her Idol journey with her, and then with tears rolling down her face Red sang again – Cry baby.  Good job girl.  You have nothing to be ashamed of….you have your whole life ahead of you.  And a great career, no doubt.

 

Later gators,

Heather

We’re down to the top four.  The four tops.  Here’s Ryan in a gray suit, striped tie and perfect tan.  He says we’re very live tonight….whatever the hell that is supposed to mean.  Apparently there was some kind of accident on the stage earlier and the kiddies didn’t get a chance to do their rehearsals….that doesn’t sound good.  And Ryan says something about the kiddies performing duets tonight….duets?  What the hell?  With each other?  What is going on?  My world is turning upside down….ok, here are the judges.  Randy in bejeweled blue, Kara in cheap punk leather, Paula in a cute little dress and Simon in a very subdued grey t-shirt.  It’s classic rock week.  And the mentor is Slash.  And of course, here’s a montage about Slash and who he is…..oh dear Jesus…..who he is?!?!?!?!  Come on kids.  It’s Slash.  Great guitar….Guns and fing Roses.  Come on. 

 

Drama is singing first tonight.  I guess I should say something about the fact that he’s gay.  People keep asking me about it.  I didn’t think it mattered.  Sooooooooooooooooooooooo….he’s gay.  And I guess that would be a big deal if he won…..but I’m not totally sure why.  It’s not like they’re aren’t any gay singers out there in the world.  Really successful gay singers.  He picked Whole Lotta Love, Led Zeppelin classic.  Great great song…but I’m worried he picked it.  And why isn’t Slash playing the guitar?  Seriously….you have this amazing guitar player in the building and he’s not on stage?  I feel like Alice in Wonderland.  You know what though, Drama sounded pretty friggin good.  As usual.  Randy says this is the Adam I love, don’t even think about Broadway, you a rock star.  Kara called him a ‘Rock God’ and then said something about Nine Inch Nails which made me cringe.  I don’t like listening to her very much.  Paula thinks the band sounds great and then called Drama a whole lotta perfect.  Simon joked that he thought the performance was understated and then pointed out it could have been a disaster.  He says it was his favorite of all of Drama’s performances and nobody is gonna be able to top that.  Uh oh….if he thinks that now….

 

Red is singing second and she picked Crybaby by Miss Janis Joplin.  I think this is a great choice.  Slash says she needs to get over her fear….yeah, she’s 17.  Don’t get over it too quick.  I thought it was a great performance.  She has a great rock voice and she really got into it.  Very nice.  Randy says you can sing your face off <shiver>….why does he say crap like that?  He didn’t like the song choice though….wha whaaaaaaaaaaaat?!?  Kara thinks it was the right choice, bluesy rock, we can see your personality.  Paula called her fearless.  Simon thinks the difference between her now and then is staggering, showed a lot of confidence, it was kind of a sound-alike, he would have chosen a Queen song.  Then Red does something totally out of character and gets feisty with Mr. Cowell.  She has apparently finally had enough.  You go girl.  I think Simon likes her more for standing up for herself.

 

First duet of the night is Kermit and Ironman.  They picked Renegade by Styxx.  It’s a pretty good song, they sound really off in parts though.  And then in other parts they sound amazing.  Randy thinks they complimented each other really well, he says the individual singing was just ok.  Kara says the same thing.  But in a different way.  Man I hate her.  Paula thinks the duets are a great idea.  She called it powerful and compelling.  Simon says after chatting incoherently with Paula about how retarded she is….Danny you were better than Kris.  Ouch!  Simon…..that was harsh.

 

Time for Kermit to sing.  He picked the Beatles…..but not the song you would expect.  As soon as he said Beatles, the Hubby mumbles, Revolution.  Right?  But he picked Come Together….which I don’t really consider rock for some reason.  During his rehearsal, Slash loaned him a guitar.   Aiiiiiyiyi.  I would have been freaking out.  Take that guitar and run!  Heeheehee.  Slash says he needs to pick up the live performance and gives him some suggestions on how to perform while playing the guitar, if anybody would know it’s him.  It was pretty good, a little different.  But pretty good.  Randy says, I know you’re not a hard rocker, liked the vocals, loved the guitar.  Kara doesn’t think it was a great performance, she thinks he’s trying too hard.  Paula says it’s kind of risky to pick the Beatles but you gave it your own artistic signature.  Your imprint makes it compelling.  Tonight’s buzz word is apparently ‘compelling’.  <sigh>  Simon didn’t like it that much.  He said it was like eating ice for lunch.  AAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.  Where have all these fantastic Cowell-isms been?  That’s hysterical.  He said he was right that nothing could top Drama.  Hmmmmm…..Kermy might be in trouble.  You never know….

 

Ironman is the last to sing solo.  He picked Dream On by Aerosmith.  Ehhhhhh….I think this is a terrible idea…..I am quite positive nobody knows what a great singer Steven Tyler is…..but you’re about to.  Slash says he picked a tough song….which I think means he didn’t like it.  He says it could go either way.  It all depends on the scream.  And the scream sounded painful.  I think he may have hurt himself.  Literally.  <frowny>  Randy says I know this is not your genre, not great.  A for effort.  Nice Randy….nice demeaning non-compliment.  Kara says you have swagger and edge, but you took it too far.  Then she says I like to see growth….<sigh>…..no comment.  Paula says I don’t think it was the right song for you.  WOW….YA THINK?!?!  Not so much.  Then she gives him an A++ for effort and if I was him I would have walked off the stage right then.  Simon says the last note was like watching a horror movie.  AAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.  Awesome.  It totally was like watching a horror movie.  He says it was a little over the top, it didn’t work.  But you’re still gonna be safe.  Then Seacrest jinxes him by saying Danny boy has never been in the bottom three….uh oh.

 

Last song of the night is the second duet between Drama and Red.  They picked Slow Ride and they sound GREAT together.  They harmonize perfectly.  Randy says that was the bomb.  Kara says Rock God and Rock Goddess.  Nice and original, Kara.  Paula says they were the perfect blend, they should do a duet on their albums, it was a beautiful thing.  Simon says in the battle of the duets, you won.  Then he says, Drama, you may have given this one a chance to stay in the competition.  Wow….does he really think Allison is in trouble?

 

Because I don’t.  I think she was better than both Kermit and Ironman.

I guess we’ll see tomorrow.  Daughtry is tomorrow….and that’s all I heard before I started screaming and running around the room…..

 

Go CAPITALS!

Later gators,

Heather

It's go time people.  Or it was, rather, like last week sometime.  I do not have Internet access at work right now and it is reaaaaallllyyyyy messing up my life.  Remember when you had dial-up and the Internet was kind of a hassle?  Well...now people think I have died if I don't e-mail them every couple of days....so, just in case you were wondering.  I'm alive.  Alive and well.  Thanks for all the e-mail reminding me that I have this obligation to keep you people up to date on TV.  Seriously.  Too lazy....to watch TV?!?!?  You guys are unbelievable.  Anyhoo...it's go time.  Seacrest asks who will get the shock tonight?  I'm hoping it's the Pathetic Pens in game 2 of the series.  Ryan has a blue or black suit on...as usual I can't tell.  47 million votes were cast.  Randy is wearing pink.  Kara is wearing lavender.  Paula has a snazzy black number on...well....not really on.  Simon is wearing a white v-neck t-shirt which shows off his gross chest hair really well.  After being prompted by Ryan, Simon admits that everyone was good this week.  It's the most open competition they've ever had.  Yeah, we know.  Tonight we have Taylor "Who?" Hicks, Natalie Cole and Jamie Foxx.  Yes, Foxx is spelled with two x's....which I don't think I was doing before....sorry about that.  And a big super smile thank you to everyone who so nicely points out my mistakes.  You guys are super awesome.

 

We start of the night with this week's Ford music video commercial horror show disaster.  The kiddies are singing to 'Energy' and they are running through the desert.  Kinda corny....but it won't give me nightmares, and that's all I can really ask for at this point.  Then they sing their medley song - It don't mean a thing and I got rhythm.  Rhythm is the dumbest word in the world to spell by the way....what ass**le came up with that one.  Anyway, the song was kind of good and kind of annoying all at the same time.

 

We're back and Seacrest reminds everyone for thr 40billionth time that there's a summer tour coming up.  There were birthdays this week for Ironman and Red.  They made themselves a cake, I guess because AI is too cheap to get them one...and they ended up having a food fight.  The kitchen looked eerily similar to my kitchen after I attempt to bake a cake....but that's all I'll say about that.  AI got Danny a "gift" which was the cleaning bill from the most expensive maid service I have ever heard of...not sure if that was a joke.  Seacrest wasn't making it real clear. 

 

Now, everybody come center stage.  Dumbo go to the right.  Ironman go to the left.  Red go to the left too.  Kermit Kris go to the right.  Now Drama....you pick the winners.  And instead of sitting in the middle of the stage and refusing to play these reindeer games, Drama picks Ironman and Red.  And he's right.  Sort of.  That side is safe....but that's not where Drama belongs. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sorry.  I just fell off the couch again remembering that this happened.  I'm back now.  What in the HELL is wrong with you America?!?!  You get all mushy about this guy and then you DON'T VOTE FOR HIM?  You morons.  I hope he gets voted off, just to spite you.  So, Dumbo, Kermit and Drama are in the bottom three.  Simon congratulates Ironman and Red, which I thought was very classy.  And now it's time to listen to Natalie Cole, singing Something's Gotta Give.  She looks amazing, kind of thin, but amazing.  And of course she sounds wonderful.  And then to follow up that stellar performance, we get to hear Taylor Hicks.  He reminds of George Clooney in Oh Brother Where Are Thou.....still goofy....still has gray hair.  The song sounds real country.  He's playing the guitar and the harmonica.  It's a nice song.  Thanks for climbing out from under that rock where you've been hiding to share it with us.  The judges give him a standing ovation, which was nice but I'm sure none of them really meant that.  He was in Grease?  Did I hear that right?  He tells the losers that song choice is the most important thing at this point.  Yeah.  We know Taylor.

 

So bring out the three.  One of them is safe and it's Kermit.  Oh come ON!!  It's so obviously Dumbo going home....but we don't get to find out yet.  First it's Jamie Foxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.  He's singing Blame It.  Cool song....but I'd rather just look at him.  What a hottie.  You can't really hear him that well over the techno stuff and whatever they're doing to his voice, but what-ever.  So easy on the eyes....ok, so he talks about how talented the kiddies are while I wipe the drool off my notepad.  Seacrest asks him if America got it right and he very diplomatically says, it doesn't matter.  Then he plugs his movie.  And I didn't write down the title....so.....he's in a movie. 

 

Ryan points out that Kara and Randy seemed to be more on point this week, while Simon was way off base.  Now, dim the lights.  Blah blah blah, fake suspense....yada yada yada,  Drama is safe.  Dumbo is going home.  The saved one...is no longer safe.  Now we get to see his Idol Journey.  He's trying to hold it together and you know, I think he'll be ok.  Not a superstar, but he'll be ok.  The cat with 9 lives....there's the title to your first album Dumbo.  And since you've managed not to bawl your eyes out and run crying from the stage, now you must sing for us.  Next week is rock and roll week, which is cool except AI never seems to understand what rock is....Slash is the mentor which is hi-larious to me....how many of these kiddies don't know who Slash is?  I'm guessing enough to make me nauseous.  Seacrest thanks everyone.  Thank you and goodnight.

 

Down to four.  Close to the end.  I'm starting to have panic attacks....

 

GO CAPITALS!!!!!

Later gators,

Heather

I am so far behind in this stuff it is unreal.  The Capitals won on Saturday, I am sure you are all dying to know.  My beloved Caps!  Rock the Red!!  Ok, anyway.  So back to 24-land.  Meet Tricia the Lawyer.  She is on her way to the White House but in true 24 fashion, she gets gassed first.  And then drugged some more.  Someone is literally stealing her identity.  This show is enough to make you paranoid. 

 

Tony is waiting for the cavalry and then he shoots himself.  Nice.  Maybe you should shoot yourself again, just to be safe.  Tony tells Bad Guy #19 to stay put, he’s still got to figure out how to get him in the clear. 

 

Back at the FBI, Kim says good bye to Dumbdumb.  No one can change Jack’s mind, yeah yeah we know.  Why don’t they just wait till he goes nuts and then do the procedure?  He won’t be able to say no then….But Kim is glad she got to talk to Papa.  Then Dumbdumb finds out Larry is dead.  She is a deer in the headlights, and not in that endearing way that makes you go ooooooooooo….how sad.  More like the way that makes you want to smack her in the face.  Hard.  Now she’s in charge.  Greeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaat.  Pull yourself woman!  She tells Fake-Chloe that Someone has to notify Larry’s ex that he’s dead, but she doesn’t think it should be her.  Uh huh.  Jack is still in debriefing.  He’s repeating himself a lot.  He’s losing it.  Then he wonders off and walks in on Dumbdumb’s briefing.  Dumbdumb tells Jack that Larry is dead…and he might be a little sad about that or it could just be the brain-eating disease effecting his facial expressions. 

 

Tony the Terrible is eavesdropping on the security sweep of the area and after he figures out the entire protocol he calls Bad Guy #19 to give him a way out.  Tony wants him to blow up the FBI.  Nice.  Nice and subtle.  Just as Dumbdumb is about to take off in the helicopter, Jack jumps in.  Dumbdumb is like whatever. 

 

Fake Tricia is at the White House.  The President hears about Larry and of course has no idea what is going on.  Olivia thinks that JV is behind it.  The President remembers what JV said about this being the tip of the iceberg.  She wants JV to go to the FBI to be interrogated.  But Fake Tricia is going to have something to say about that first, she’s in JV’s cell.  He knows it’s not her.  He wants to know how she’s going to get him out.  She says this is difficult.  He jeopardized the plan.  He developed the bio weapon for somebody else.  Very cryptic.  He wants to talk to Them.  And she says, your family will be safe if you commit suicide.  So she gives him a cyanide pill.  Olivia walks in, cuts off this lovely conversation and says we’re moving.  Babye.  Fake Tricia is on the phone with Them, she says it’s taken care of.  Tony is calling her too, he’s her guy.  This is extremely confusing, in a really annoying way.  Does anyone else have the feeling we’re going in a big circle.  Them is probably the White House.  Or Aliens.  Those are my two guesses.

 

Bad Guy #19 is in an abandoned apartment building.  He is setting up the FBI-killing C4.  Jack tries to talk to Dumbdumb and say he’s sorry about Larry.  It’s alright to be feeling what you’re feeling.  Don’t pretend like you’re not feeling anything.  And Dumbdumb gets bitchy as usual, don’t tell me what to feel.  Have I mentioned how much I hate her?  Tony sees Jack get out of the helicopter….uh oh.  Dumbdumb wants to see dead Larry.  That wasn’t a good idea.  Jack says it doesn’t add up.  Jack knows someone else was involved.  Now Tony is in trouble, but Jack’s not onto him yet. 

 

Jack isn’t doing well.  Tony follows him and sees him injecting himself with the anti-seizure meds.  You basically killed him too, Tony.  Bad Guy #19 killed one of the agents and then calls in to draw FBI to the bomb building.  Jack can’t go with her because he’s about to die.  Tony watches Jack like a hawk. 

 

JV takes the pill in the van on the way to the FBI.  Now they’re taking him to the hospital.  Dumbdumb and the Feds are going into the bomb building.  Then the debriefer calls Jack about a name Jack said he got from Tony.  Vincent Carter?  Jack gets off the phone before he figures out that Tony is Terrible.  He wants a map overlay of the transponder codes on the walkies for the Feds.  Jacks knows it’s a trap, tells them to evacuate, but it’s too late.  Of course.  The building explodes.  Jack tells the Feds to stand fast, he knows exactly what is going on.  Don’t let the canister out.  Bad Guy #19 is now in FBI gear.  Tony runs into the building to “help”.  Jack can’t get Dumbdumb on the walkie and for a brief shining moment I think she is dead but of course not, Jack finds her….disappointingly alive.  Renee says it’s like they knew.  I think Jack just figured it out. 

 

He calls the debriefer and figures out the Tony was lying about Vincent Carter.  Tony gets Bad Guy #19 into an ambulance before Jack confronts him.  Jack says if you were lying, I’d kill you myself.  Tony is like I couldn’t tell you about Carter, I made a deal with him not to say anything if he gave me the intel and Jack is like there is no such thing as a meaningless lie.  He is so ridiculously sel-righteous.  Tony says you’re not thinking straight.  Jack knows it’s him.  Tony says its paranoia.  Jack goes into seizures.  Tony takes the gun.  Then he basically confesses but Jack can do nothing and at this point I am hurling things at the television screen.  Bad Guy #19 kills the EMT and then holds the driver at gunpoint.  The end.

 

This show makes me crazy.

Later gators,

Heather