It's Monday and besides even more football being on the television...we've got one of the best shows to look forward to!!  This episode is called "One of Us, One of Them"...which certainly gets you thinking.  Everyone has a hero in them...and a villain.  Which one wins the day?  That's the important question for us all I guess.  And the important question for our cast of characters.  We start right where we left off with Evil Mom making goo goo eyes at Sylar, explaining that she is his real mom.  She seems to be freaking him out...but I'm not sure why.  I mean, she is kind of creepy but now at least he knows he has a mom...that's alive.  This episode skipped around all over the place by the way, more than usual I think.  First Nathan is asking Future Peter, what the hell?  He got the message from Current Peter saying he was trapped in some body...somebody else's body.  Current Peter is in New York somewhere with the gang of villains and they have decided to hold up a bank.  How cliche....I mean really....a bank?

 

Papa B is back at Section 5 and Evil Mom is like, yeah I knew you'd be back.  He sets the record straight and says, I'm here to get the bad guys and then I'm done.  But he needs a partner.  The Haitian is "unavailable", whatever that means...and Papa B is like, I need someone else.  That's how it works...one of us and one of them.  AHA!  Eureka!!  They gave us the title very early this time.  Ok.  And here's the kicker for Papa B...his new partner?  Why the lovable Sylar, of course.  Papa bugs out his eyes and says, oh no, I'm gonna kill that guy.  Which of course he can't.  Evil Mom thinks Sylar can be rehabilitated or something...which is obviously ridiculous.  The guy is a killer.  Come on...you don't change that.

 

Claire Bear is having issues at home now.  Fire Mom is having issues with the Clueless One.  I'm not going to school...oh yes, you are.  Blah blah blah.  Algebra doesn't really compare to saving the world, Clueless.  Just a tip.  Hiro and Ando are tracking Flashypants in Germany.  When they all run in to each other...they suddenly discover that none of them have their powers.  Huh.  Someone who can drain your powers away....ah yes.....I think I know why the Haitian was unavailable now.  And I was right!!  There he is, with a briefcase.  Hiro thinks it's the other half of the formula.  So everybody goes in to this movie theater to watch the Haitian.  Flashypants called Hiro, Pikachu...which is hysterical.

 

Nathan goes to find Tracy, aka Niki, aka The Ice Queen since she never bothered to show up for work.  She says who do you think I am?  And shows him the video and he's like, are ya sure that's not you?  HAHAHAHAHA....typical guy.  She's off to Nawlin's to find her slutty twin.  The police are at the bank with the villains now, and we find out that the whole thing is a set-up to get Papa B to show up for some revenge.  The Scary One (feeds of people's fear) killed the telekinetic one, kind of for no reason, but whatever.  He's drunk on power, I can understand that.

 

Parkman is still in the stupid desert.  The African guy is showing him all the paintings he's done of Parkman showing the entire course of events, all the way up to last painting which Parkman doesn't recognize.  The African guy says, this was your future but not anymore.  So he paints over it, gets the white eyes and starts prognosticating.  Sylar is ready to go fight bad guys now that he has a snazzy suit on.  Evil Mom is telling him to have fun on his first day of school.  Yeah yeah.  Papa B thinks the guy is a chump.

 

Then we jump back to the Haitian in the movie theater, and some chit chat with Flashypants.  Hiro is afraid she's putting ideas into Ando's head.  Of course she is...Ando turns into a villain remember?  And right back to the bank where Current Peter is trying to talk down the Scary Guy...except he messed up.  That whole "your family is from Detroit" thing was such a set-up Peter!!  Why did you fall for that??  But Papa B and Sylar have arrived to save the day.  Back to the Haitian who is getting the other half of the formula and Hiro comes up with a plan to nab it from him.  Back to the bank and Sylar wants to help but Papa B says Ohhhhhhhh nooooooooo.  You stay right here.

 

The Ice Queen is in Nawlins already and she's walking in to a funeral parlor.  I am assuming there's not gonna be a body in that casket...but there is.  Yeah, there's Niki.  Dead and all.  Huh...so the Ice Queen is freaking out and then Micah shows up (Niki's son) and knows immediately that she's not his mom.  Yeah, your mom is dead remember?  So Micah helps her find out if there was any connection between his mom and the Ice Queen.  Apparently, they were born in the same hospital on the same day by the same doctor.  Wow....this sounds like one of those Mensa riddles....so now the Ice Queen has a name to track down.  Say goodbye Micah.

 

Hiro distracts the Haitian and Ando bonks him over the head.  While he's knocked unconscious, Flashypants grabs the formula but when Hiro tries to freeze time, he can't.  Uh oh.  Somebody's awake again!!  The Haitian is not pleased.  I'll say...now whoever Flashypants works for will have the whole formula!!  Back at the bank and Papa B is facing down the villains.  Current Peter discovers, kind of by accident, what his power is....sound.  Really?  That's kind of a lame power but whatever.  He echose the Fire Guy into the corner and turns on the Scary Guy when everything goes still.  At first, I thought it was Sylar...but no...it's Future Peter come to push Current Peter out of the ugly villain body.  Current is yelling at Future and wow, I really can't get enough Peter Petrelli....so anyway, Future says, I can't explain this to you, I have to show you and they blip away.  But that leaves Papa B with the Sound Guy totally exposed until Sylar shows up.  What a BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN.  I think he may want to be a good guy...but he's just not.  He's a villain.  No ifs, ands, or buts.  He slices open the Sound guy, Scary guy gets away, so Fire guy is the only one they end up actually arresting.

 

Fire Mom is trying to teach Claire Bear how to fight by suffocating her in a big shipping container.  Apparently, the first step to learning how to fight is learning how to defend herself.  Why is she suffocating by the way?  Shouldn't she be able to not breathe?  I guess not...I guess she'd have to die first and then come back.  Maybe she can learn how to hold her breath for a really long time.  Heehee....ok, so the real point of this little exercise was to get Claire Bear to admit that she wants to fight bad guys so she can get back at Sylar and make him hurt like he made her hurt.  Of course...we all kind of knew that. 

 

The Ice Queen has found Dr. Frankenstein (actually Zimmerman, but F is more appropriate).  He says, oh you're the one from Beverly Hills.  What, huh?  Icey is like, do you know me?  He says, know you?  I created you.  See...the Frankenstein name IS more appropriate.

 

Parkman sees his new future painted by the African.  It looks like he's holding someone who is hurt...hard to say exactly.  So now, Parkman wants to go on his spirit walk.  Um....what the hell has he been doing in the desert?  Half of his face has been burnt off from being in the sun so long.  Argh...whatever...so the African gives him some kind of potion.  Probably peyote.  Parkman doesn't feel anything, so the African gives him his headphones and says, try this.  And BOOM, his eyes go all white. 

 

Time for Suresh's voiceover.  Nathan is reading Genesis (ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh, ironic considering that was the name of the first season), Claire Bear pretends to be going on a cheerleading sleepover thing but she's really off to hunt bad guys.  The Haitian apparently arrested Hiro and Ando and brought them to Section 5.  Sylar gets to go back in his cell for the night and Papa B gets to talk to his old partner, the Haitian.  He wants to know if he's being replaced, and Papa B says, only for a little while.  I need to discover his weakness.  So I can kill him.  But.....if you discover his weakness....that means you will have discovered Claire Bear's weakness.  Right?

 

Ok so...one of us and one of them.  The Villain Hunters from the company have to be a pair - one of us and one of them, in Papa B's words.  And obviously, Papa B will end up being the hero and Sylar will be the villain.  Right?  Except Evil Mom pointed out that they're an awful lot alike.  Oh yeah, they are.  Then there's Hiro and Ando.  One of us and one of them.  Hiro's the hero and Ando....the villain?  Yeah, I think so.  And then, there's the Peters.  <chuckle>  Future Peter and Current Peter.  But which is which.  And there's the Ice Queen and Niki.  Except Niki had one of us and one of them in her all the time, remember?  Split personalities....except Zimmerman made them.  And if they're twins...one is always good and one is always bad.  So...one of us and one of them might not actually refer to one person with powers and one person without....it might just refer to one hero and one villain.  The balance.

 

Questions, questions, questions.  Who is Flashypants working for?  Adam maybe?  Where did Linderman go?  We didn't see him at all this episode.  And isn't Suresh melting?  Why'd they leave that one alone?  And I hope these Villains...the ones that escaped from Section 5 aren't the only villains because they kind of suck.  And what was playing on those headphones that Parkman put on that made him go all buggy?  And when is he getting out the desert?  And what is Future Peter going to be showing Current Peter...didn't the future change when he shot Nathan?  Questions, questions, questions.  That's why I keep watching. 

 

Later gators,

Heather

 

It's time.  Time for the glorious dramatic entertainment of watching stranded starving people going slowly insane....otherwise known as Survivor.  Which is easier to put on a t-shirt.  That Mark Burnett is a GENIUS!!  This is Season 16.  Believe it or not, this show has survived (Haha...get it?  Get it?) for 16 long seasons...which either tells you something about how good the show is....or about how inherently sadistic humans actually are in the comfort of their own homes.  This year the tribes are in Gabon, which is in Africa.  The armpit of Africa to be more descriptive, but also referred to as Earth's Last Eden.  Which is, again...a much nicer way of putting it.  If you're wondering why your memory of the last Survivor Africa season is hazy, let me explain.  The last time Survivor was filmed in Africa, Kenya to be exact, was 2001.  It premiered in October.  Your focus was probably somewhere else at the time.

 

So we're back in Africa for 39 days.  18 contestants.  1 survivor.  Oh.....that's just awesome.  And yes, Jeffy poo is still quite adorable.  And yes, he did win the first Emmy for best reality show host.  Because he's awesome.  I mean seriously, how can you not vote for those dimples?  So the contestants are walking through the Gabon landscape which of course gives us our first chance to give them a once over.  Who is going to be super annoying?  Who is going to waste away?  Who won't be able to keep their mouth shut?  Who am I going to be rooting for?  So Jeffy says hello when they get to wherever they were going and says ok, everyone introduce yourself and tell us what you do for a living.  Hmmm...they don't normally do this.  So, they go through and say who they are and here are my first impressions - Bob looks like Orville Redenbacher, Charlie is quite flamboyant, Ace has a weird British accent, Marcus looks like an actor, Ken is the biggest dork, Michelle aka the girl in purple looks like a firecracker, and there are automatically big question marks next to Matty and Sugar just for asking to be called such ridiculous names.  There are more people obviously...but these were the only ones that stood out right away.  Jeffy says the old people get to pick the tribes...you know cause they're old and this may be the only thing they get to do on this show before they're voted out.  So Orville and Gillian (another accent, I looked up her bio and she's from South Africa) get to pick the first members of their teams and the picked people get to pick and so on. 

 

The team names, as usual, are local ethnic groups Kota and Fang (pronounced Fawn)....but that is soooooooooooooooooo boring.  So lets call them Coca Cola and Tooth.  Hahahaha...I'll probably rename them every week just to annoy you guys.  Anyway, here are the teams everybody ended up on -

 

Orville (Bob), Baldy (Ace), Spice (Sugar), Hollywood (Marcus), Happy (Charlie), Paloma, Kelly, Jacquie, and Cutthroat (Corinne) are on the Coca Cola team.  Gillian, Olympian (Crystal), Susie, Peppermint Patty (Matty), Wedding Hater (Randy), Finding Myself (Dan), GC (Danny), The Game (Ken), and Purple Chip (Michelle).  So right off the bat, the tribes have to run across the country and up a mountain.  The first person from each tribe to make it to the top gets immunity, BUT the first whole team to the top gets a big bag of beans and corn.  HAHAHAHA!!  OOOOoooOOOOOOO....beans and corn!!  So off they go and obviously Gillian is in last.  GC and Marcus are in the lead, but Coca Cola is doing better.  Cola ends up winning the beans and corn because Gillian and the Olympian slowed everything down.  Yeah....Crystal blamed her dress and her shoes on the fact that she couldn't get up the mountain.... pshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...ok.  Jeffy points out, in his charming diplomatic way, how much the Tooth team sucks.  And then they're all of to their campsites.

 

Coca Cola finds their camp and some gross looking huts.  Bob the Builder, aka Orville, jumps up on the roof and starts fixing it.  Then he makes a bench.  Then he makes a carport for his bamboo vehicle.  I keeeed, I keeeeed. But seriously, Orville is holding his own here and not in one of those demeaning physics teacher ways...of course the producers spend no time delving into why Orville is NOT annoying...let's move on to people who are annoying....hello Tooth team.  Gillian tells everyone to find some elephant poop so they can burn it.  Woohoo, sounds like a good time out in the safari.  She's already wearing on people with her cheerleading...which can be annoying, especially to people who don't like people...like Randy.  The Gamer informs us that he hasn't kissed a girl since high school.  <long pause>  And he likes the Purple Chip (chip on her shoulder) who thinks everyone pretty much sucks.  She already hates her team for picking her last and think they're a bunch of morons.  Wow...she's got to be the life of every party...

 

Back at Coca Cola, and Ace is telling people what to do around camp.  Some people think it's annoying....but come on!!  He knows what to do, he looks good bald, and that accent.  Oh my.  I don't care if it is fake...which it might be....but seriously, oh my.  Cut to Happy hitting on Hollywood....oh dear.  Hollywood explains to the camera that he doesn't "roll" that way.  Hahaha...I don't think Happy cares too much, he is obviously infatuated.  Back at Team Tooth, elephants nearly stampede the camp in the middle of the night...probably because Gollian was stealing their poop.  The Wedding Hater gets up and because he has so much bad karma for being anti-marriage he clocks his noggin on a low-hanging branch and now has a gaping head wound.  Ok, ok...so it wasn't really gaping, but he was bleeding all over the place...but everyone knows that head wounds bleed excessively.  Gillian, who is a nurse, is content with letting him bleed to death.  But someone calls the Medical Team.  He gets like one stitch and this huge ridiculous bandage and a warning about infection.  That was fun.  In the morning, the Purple Chip is freezing to death because she is too skinny to survive in the wild.  Here's a tip to all you skinny Survivor wannabes...you really need to eat a few cheeseburgers before going on the show.  Now it's challenge time for immunity.  YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!

 

Ace does yoga in his underwear.  The Hubby pointed out that other people were doing yoga too....ok.  So, most of the tribe gets chained together and has to run through an obstacle course, and dig up bags of puzzle pieces and the rest of the team has to put the puzzle together to win.  YAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!  I am quite certain I would be a puzzle player if I was on Survivor.  You know, you have obstacle course players and puzzle players.  Me?  Puzzles.  Not so much running and jumping and climbing and digging.  Yeah....give me some jumbo sized wooden puzzle pieces and I'm good.  The teams are pretty much neck and neck...when they get to the digging part though, the Tooth Team just fizzles out completely.  Should have done some yoga.....Gillian will not stop rooting her team on even when it is clearly obvious, even to the lurking wildlife, that they are going to lose.  Jeffy even tells her to put it in the "deep freeze".  <chuckle>  He's so cute...I mean funny.  He's so funny.  He points out again what losers Team Tooth are and sends them on their way.  So tribal council is between the Purple Chip and Gillian.  I know it's pretty easy for me to sit here and say....Purple Chip?  What a dumb choice!!  She's good at the challenges and everyone hates her.  You always keep people around that have no social skills.  They're perfect to go up against in the end.  But seriously....Purple Chip was so annoying, I kind of understand this.  And then at the actual tribal council...she basically tells everyone how dumb they are....nice.  Jeffy goes to tally the votes and here come those words we all know and love - Once the votes are read, the decision is final.  The person voted out will have to leave the tribal council area immediately.  It's Purple Chip, but we all knew that.  Oh, and Team Tooth picked GC as their sacrificial "leader". 

 

Let's go back to Coca Cola.  Orville continues to justify his existence by creating fire.  Happy is falling in love with Hollywood on their boat trip to discuss the Large Onion Alliance.  No joke, Hollywood compared an alliance to an onion and called Happy his inner layer.  Or circle.  Or layer...I don't know, I was laughing too hard at the stupid analogy.  Apparently Happy and Hollywood want Corinne and Jacquie to be in their Onion.  Back at Team Tooth and GC attempts to treat camp like his maintenance job, chirping out work orders for everyone.  The Wedding Hater always seems to have this dazed look on his face...I guess in lieu of actually saying out loud he thinks you're stupid, he just looks like he thinks you're stupid.  The Gamer collects grass to make a mattress....a little late Gamer, Purple is already gone.

 

Corinne agrees to be in the Onion and suggests Orville be included too.  I know....let's include the whole team in the Onion!!  That would be a great secret alliance!!  <shaking my head>  Back at Team Tooth, where all the drama appears to be happening, everyone is snoring through the night.  So GC gets up and starts making all kinds of noise...so other people get up and make more noise.  Gillian is up in the wee hours of the morning and is complaining that these people are "blah blah blahing".  Is that like 'yada yada yada'?  So GC uses this confrontation from the exceedingly intimidating granny type to abandon his leadership role and blame everyone else for ganging up on him.  His reaction was totally ridiculous, but may have been the only way to get out of that responsibility...so good for you GC.  Let the team go down in flames...and hope you last to the merge.  Good strategy.

 

Time for another Immunity challenge, so Team Tooth decides to paint their faces with the charcoal from the elephant poop fire.  Hmmmmmm...ok.  This is the Big Balls challenge.  Rolling balls through gates and then standing on the balls to get keys to unlock the last gate to get to the finish line.  Sounds like fun.  It's a very close race and Team Tooth never gave up, but Coca Cola beat them by a few seconds.  They get fishing gear for their prize, get immunity and get to send one of the Teeth to exile island.  Here's where they lose me - they picked Dan.  You know....the one "finding himself".  What huh????  Why wouldn't you send someone likely to get voted off?  Then no one would have the clue!!!  See, I could play this game.

 

So they show us Coca Cola and their vistory dance for about three seconds.  Yeah, they're great and they are clearly going to dominate everything.  Back to the losers.  Dan finds himself at exile island where he has to make a choice - Comfort or Clue.  He gets an apple (which does not sound very "comforting" to me) or he gets a clue to the immunity idol.  Of course his picks the clue because he's not really starving yet and the clue says 'across the lake, at the bottom of a sandy crater.  So naturally, he begins looking under water.  <long pause>  Then....he starts digging in the middle of a field.  Oh dear Jesus....this guy was a lawyer?  Was a lawyer.....no wonder he's trying to find himself.....probably didn't know he could lose himself until he did.  Needless to say, Dan finds nothing....including himself.  Back at camp and Gillian is trying to cheerlead all the losers.  Give it up Gillian.  Clearly that approach is not working one little bit.  So Crystal, Gamer and Matty Patty all think Gillian should go and Gillian and Susie think Gamer should go.  Then Dan gets back and everyone thinks he's acting strange.  Yeah.  Because he IS STRANGE!!  Look at those buggy eyes....of course he's weirding everybody out!!  Because he's creepy.  Seriously, if the Teeth boot out another strong player for no reason...I will laugh derisively at their slow and inevitable self-destruction. 

 

At tribal council and they're all talking about leaders again.  Dan is wearing a tie.  <shaking my head>  Really Dan?  A tie?  GC says they don't need a leader.  I agree....none of these people should lead anything.  Then everyone talks about how Dan might have the idol and so he dumps out all of his stuff on the ground to prove he doesn't have it.  Ok, ok, ok.  But since we're Americans, infallible proof offered in our faces still may not be enough to convince us that he doesn't have the idol.  Anyway, it's time for these losers to vote.  Once the votes are read, the decision is final.  The person voted out will have to leave the tribal council area immediately.  It's Gillian.  I'll save you the suspense.  At least they didn't vote out Dan...I could have maybe understand Game because he may be even more skinny than Purple Chip was....but not Dan, even if he is creepy.  The agism seems to affect the women more than the men on this show.  Yau and Orville are good examples....,but there is absolutely no way that Orville is 57....come on, he looks 83.  So anyway, that was the first two episodes.  It was great, as usual.  Can't wait until next week.

 

Later gators,

Heather

Yes, yes, I know the best show ever was on for two hours last night.  Don't worry naggers....I didn't miss anything.  I just have to...you know....work from time to time.  Make enough money to keep the cable on and all that.  So part 2, entitled The Butterfly Effect, begins with Claire Bear talking to Mama B about how she doesn't feel anything anymore...the pain is gone and that was all she had that reminded her she was human.  That was kind of really sad.

 

Evil Mom is dreaming a little dream about everyone being dead.  And now we get to see the Villains, panning from one to the next.  All new characters...this is gonna be great.  So after her dream, Mom visits Future Peter to tell him about it and how much he's screwed everything up.  She says, you don't screw with Time.  Just ask Marty McFly.  She says, Claire Bear wasn't supposed to be home.  And now everything is messed up.  And it's all your fault.  Again...just paraphrasing.

 

Maya shows up in the lab looking for Suresh.  He's Spiderman!!  Hanging from the ceiling, acting like a cassanova.  What has gotten into him?  Oh yeah....he injected himself with hero steroids.  Wonder if that has any side effects? <read that very sarcastically>

 

And Parkman is still in the desert.

 

Here's Bing.  You remember, he's the head of the Evil Company.  He's talking to Baby Bing (Elle) being his usual supportive self, telling her Sylar got away and it's her fault and you're a loser and blah blah blah.  Now we're back with Hiro and after Flash Fancypants destroyed his office with her whirlwind, he's trying to figure out who she is...but uh oh....he doesn't trust Ando anymore.  So sad.  But he does figure out who Flash Fancypants is and they're off to Germany or some place.  Here is Niki Saunders again, now apparently going by Tracy Strauss, and talking with that politician again.  She wants Nathan to be in on their reindeer games...yeah, I bet she does.  So, she's walking out to her car in the parking garage and what's this?  Believe it or not...I'm walking on air.  Flying away on a wing and a prayer.  <chuckle>  Nice touch to the producers/director.  So anyway, our Greatest American Reporter is talking about a stripper scandal and of course Niki/Tracy denies being a stripper...when we all know she was one.

 

So Claire Bear is off recording her escapades again.  This time she's trying to get hit by a train and survive.  Well...maybe survive.  Maybe not.  Future Peter flies in and saves her.  She explains that she was just trying to feel something again and asks for Future Peter's help teaching her how to defend herself.  And he says no.  It can't be me.  And of course, we all know why it can't be him.  But she doesn't know.  And is this when she starts to go bad?  Is this the moment?  Back with Niki/Tracy and she's visiting with Nathan to convince him to play politics again and he recognizes her as Niki...but of course she has no idea what he's talking about....riiiiiiiiiiiiiight.  Oh wait.  I think she actually doesn't know.  Huh.  That's interesting.  After she leaves, Linderman shows up again until Nathan tells him to leave.

 

Baby Bing goes to chat with Bing for some more punishment...and oh dear, he's not not listening Baby.  He's dead.  So Elle goes to get Papa B because remember he used to catch Villains in a past life and he shoots Sylar.  The bullets fall out.  And now we're really in some trouble.  Everyone goes flying and Sylar turns on Elle, ready to get up close and personal with her cranium....except when he tries to slice open her skullcap, she kind of explodes and zaps him across the room.  Apparently, she short-circuited the whole building because there go all the villains.

 

Hiro tells Ando why he doesn't trust Ando anymore, so that's out in the open.  Poor Hiro.  He thought Adam was his friend too.  Red flames though....I think Ando is headed to the dark side.  Future Peter shows up to see Nathan.  He's conflicted about the job offer, so just to clear his plate a bit, Future Peter decides to tell Nathan who he is and why he's here.  He needs Nathan's forgiveness and explains he's going to set things right.  Good good.  We need Peter to save the day.  It all started with him....sort of.

 

Niki gets confronted by the Greatest American Reporter again, who has video now to back up his stripper scandal story.  She freaks out and freezes him.  HOW BATMAN!!  The GAR breaks into a thousand tiny little pieces and now she's really freaked herself out.  Sylar is back in a cell and apparently unconscious.  Evil Mom shows up and now she's Queen of the Castle.  Elle is fired...but something tells me, we'll see her again.

 

The game is afoot!  Hiro and Ando are off to get the formula back and are now in Flash Fancypant's apartment.  But where is it????

 

Suresh is melting.  You mean the hero/villain serum has side effects?  NooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooo. 

 

Parkman is still in the desert.  And now he's talking to a turtle.  He's in Africa?  Oh really.  This African guy knows who he is apparently...that is kind of spooky.  And he is the new Painter.  How cool.  He painted the planet exploding.  Well alrighty then.  Looks like Parkman is going to be stuck in the desert for a while.

 

Papa B is back home, but he's not staying.  He has to hunt down all the villains.  Claire Bear wants to help.  Back with Nathan playing chess with Linderman...who we find out is either invisible or a figment.  Papa B is explaining who the villains are and what they can do - using fear, flame, magnetism and sound to destroy things.  Papa has to go, but you will be protected Claire Bear.  Your real mom, the Firestarter is here.

 

Future Peter blips to Section 5 and finds out that everyone is gone.  He yells at Evil Mom.  Apparently the regular Peter, trapped in a villain body, tries to call Nathan...to warn him about Future Peter, but that doesn't work.  Evil Mom goes to talk to Sylar.  She's comforting him like only an Evil Mom can....and implies that she is his actual mom.  What huh?!?!?  Peter and Nathan and Sylar are brothers?  Or stepbrothers?  Oh my oh my. 

 

This is getting really really interesting.  We've got a whole new cast of characters and alter egos to meet this season.  And apparently....everybody is related.

 

Later gators,

Heather

 

It's back!!  The best show on TV....besides American Idol.  And Survivor.  Ok, ok, the best show about superheroes....maybe even a little tiny bit better than Smallville.  I am so ridiculously excited that this show is back on now.  Do you feel like saving the world today?  Why yes, yes I do.  If you want a recap of last season, go back and read the blogs.  That will get you caught up quick.  We start off tonight in the future.  Four years into the future.  Peter is facing down Claire who is pointing a gun at him.  He's talking about camps and experiments and how he can make everything alright again, he can go back and fix it.  She says, I always loved you.  Wow she looks evil here...not very Claire Bear.  More Evil Cheerleader.  And then she drops the bombshell that I wasn't expecting.  He was the assasin that shot Nathan during the season finale!!!  WHAT!!!  That's crazy.  He's the last person I expected it to be.  So, flash back to the present and Claire is watching the whole thing on TV and calls Peter.  She can save him, with her blood (remember?).  But Peter says no, stay there.  And then Nathan is in the hospital.  And then he's dead.  And then he's not. 

 

Huh.

 

Hiro is the new boss of the company now that Sulu is dead.  He's talking to Ando about being a "man without a quest".  And then a lawyer delivers a DVD message from the grave, from Sulu.  Cut to Claire Bear and there is that ridiculous dog.  She is heading out to see Nathan....but too late.  Sylar is at the door.  After she clonks him on the head with one of her cheerleading trophies, he shuts up the house with his mind, sealing doors and throwing furniture in front of the windows so she can't get out.  And so Claire Bear tries the phone....both the Hubby and I thought that was a little bit silly.  Really?  The phone Claire?  I thought the butcher knife was a much better idea, which is what she ended up with.  This whole scene reminded me of Scream.  He's BEHIND YOU!!!  Aaaaaiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!

 

So back to Suresh's apartment and here's Maya.  One half of the Super Twins, remember from last season?  Remember how annoying she is?  So anyway, Suresh says he's off to India, he has nothing left to do here.  His work is over.  But Maya says, I came all this way for a cure, please help me.  Waaaaaaaaaaaaa waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.  Nope.  I still don't like her.  So whiny. 

 

Back to Hiro and Sulu is telling him he has a sacred duty.  To protect a dangerous secret.  His task?  Never open the safe in Sulu's office.  <Smile>  Oh, reaaaaaaaaaaaaaally?  Don't ever tell anybody to never do something....unless you want them to immediately do it.  Which of course he does.  And the safe?  Our figurative Pandora's box (remember that from the end of the season finale?) is holding another tape.  Sulu comes on again and says, I told you not to open the safe.  AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!  That was hysterical.  So anyway, the secret is a forumla.  The only way to protect against it is with the 'light', to safeguard against the darkness.  Hmmmm....darkness and light.  Good and evil and the fate of the world.  And the Flash speeds through the scene and steals the formula...except Hiro freezes time and talks to her before she punches him in the face and speeds off again.  A new character.  She might not be a villain, not sure yet....but she is a thief.

 

After Parkman figures out that Peter knew about the assasination....or at least Future Peter knew about the assasination, Future Peter blips him away.  Can't be bothered with a meddling Parkman right now.  Now Future Peter is after Nathan again...like the Terminator.  Nathan ends up in the hospital chapel saying, "I saw God today and now I have to do his bidding.  We're all connected (see the poem below people!!) Stewards of our own destiny.  (stewards of destiny...you mean like Hiro?)  The mission - to save ourselves."  I'm paraphrasing there....but seriously a very cool scene. 

 

Now Suresh thinks he can cure Maya.  To the lab!!  He's taking samples and running tests and it's something to do with adrenaline...honestly I wasn't totally paying attention.  But after he's done with his science stuff he announces he can now give powers to anyone.  What huh?  Maya is obviously disappointed since she thought...you know....he was helping her.  She says you should destroy that.  But you know he won't.  Come on.  Pandora's box, remember?

 

Claire Bear is still in trouble.  She is getting a brainectomy from Sylar.  He's looking at her brain and saying, it's all here.  All the answers.  Why is there evil?  How many angels dance on the head of a pin?  How do you make love stay?  [!!]  She asks him if he's going to eat her brain.  Ewwwwwwwwwwww....Sylar goes, that's disgusting Claire.  HAHAHAHAHA...seriously, we went from Scream to Silence of the Lambs.  So anyway, he gets her power and now he's Super Sylar!!  He's off to Section 5 to get the rest of the villains.  My name is Legion, for we are many.  She asks why he didn't kill her and he laughs.  There's so much you don't know about yourself.  You're special Claire.  You can never die.  And now....neither can I.  How did she not figure that out, by the way?  Wouldn't that be a pretty safe leap in logic?

 

Anyway Suresh wants the power for himself, the power that he has created from Maya's blood.  And she says no, it's a curse.  It's evil and you should destroy it.  But you and I both know he's not gonna do that.

 

Back to Nathan in the hospital and he's talking to Future Peter.  He tells Future Peter, all of us, with these powers...we could be angels.  But not if someone knew.  AHA!!  So Nathan passes out again and Future Peter whispers, 'I don't expect you to understand, but I hope you can forgive me.'  Ahhhh....that would be an awfullt difficult conversation to have, wouldn't it?  And now look who it is?  Linderman!!  What huh?  I thought he was dead?  What the hell is going on here?  Wasn't he dead?  Anyway, <shaking my head> he healed Nathan.  He says, you were meant for great things. 

 

Cut to the tv report about Nathan and some politician watching it and talking about how Nathan looks like the perfect shill when in saunters Miss Niki.  While the Hubby is hooting and hollering over on the sofa, let me take a moment to remind everyone that the last time we saw her she was in a burning building...that exploded....while her son Micah watched.

 

Parkman is still in the desert.  ..."somewhere in the sands of the desert, a shape with lion body and the head of a man...."

 

So Hiro blips himself off to the future to see how the whole thing works out now that Fannny Flashpants has stolen the secret formula that determines the fate of the world.  He sees Future Ando arguing with Future Hiro about the formula.  And then Future Ando fires red gobs of light at Future Hiro and kills him and then the world ends.  Whew!!  Hiro blips himself back just in the nick of time...but now he sees Ando in a whole new way. 

 

Suresh injects himself with the Hero serum.  That was very Batman....wasn't it?

 

Evil Mom goes to visit Nathan and sees Future Peter and starts in on him.  She saw the whole thing in her dreams...she knew what he would do.  You've changed everything.  The butterfly effect.  Future Peter is talking about the forumla and what happens if it gets out.  Evil Mom wants to know where regular Peter is and Future says, don't worry.  He's safe.  Flash to Section 5 where regular Peter has been trapped in some inmate's body.

 

And here is Suresh, with his narration - 'turning and turning in the widening gyre...'  They show us Papa B in Section 5, Claire with her head back on, Parkman...still in the desert, and Suresh with his powers.  The new image of the apocalypse is the planet exploding.  It was painted on a rock in Parkman's desert and on a billboard behind Suresh on the dock.  This is the way world ends.  So that was hour one...and it was super cool.  Super cool.

 

Some of them want to be heroes...some of them don't.  Some of them want to be villains and some of them want to be angels.  Between the essence and the descent...falls the shadow.

 

<to be continued...>

 

Later gators,

Heather

The Second Coming

by W. B. Yeats

 

Turning and turning in the widening gyre

The falcon cannot hear the falconer;

Things fall apart; the center cannot hold;

Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,

The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere

The ceremony of innocence is drowned;

The best lack all conviction, while the worst

Are full of passionate intensity.

Surely some revelation is at hand;

Surely the Second Coming is at hand.

The Second Coming! Hardly are those words out

When a vast image out of Spiritus Mundi

Troubles my sight: somewhere in sands of the desert

A shape with lion body and the head of a man,

A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun,

Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it

Reel shadows of the indignant desert birds.

The darkness drops again; but now I know

That twenty centuries of stony sleep

Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle,

And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,

Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?

~

 

[Spiritus mundi means "spirit of the world".  It is a reference to Yeats' belief that each human mind is linked to a single vast intelligence.] 

 

I should be working right now….but the network is down.  It’s a very uncomfortable feeling…having the network down.  It feels like anarchy is imminent.  No network….no social order.  So I have decided to write this blog to prevent the nagging feeling of impending doom.  Last weekend was the party extravaganza of the year.  Princess Alyssa turned one year old.  Her zombie walk had improved slightly over the previous week and she was teetering around the house like she owned the place.  But before we start describing the everlasting brilliance of my exceedingly beautiful and intelligent niece, I think it would be important to set the stage for the day.

 

I made a cake.  I baked a cake and I decorated it especially for this party.  It was a fantastic cake.  A castle with a dragon and a pumpkin carriage and a princess.  The cake decorating is always something of a fiasco because I can always picture how the cake should turn out….but it hardly ever looks like the picture in my head.  And because the world hates me like it does, instead of accepting the fact that my cakes will not look like the masterpiece in my head, I get ridiculously frustrated by the whole affair.  The dragon part was made out of a kind of edible play-doh called fondant and let me tell you…I am no sculptor.  First the dragon looked like a pig….then it looked like a dinosaur out of Jurassic Park…..the clay stuff was bright blue and so naturally my hands turned blue during the three hours I spent trying to make the stupid dragon look like a dragon.  The Pumpkin was absolutely no help during this process.  You see, I prepare my cakes at the dining room table.  There’s lots of space to spread out and make a mess.  The Pumpkin insists on being involved and will continue to nag me if I am ever seated at this table until I pull up another chair right next to my chair so she can hop up, collapse dramatically and scowl at me.  So, while I am struggling with the candy play-doh, the Pumpkin started leaning her fuzzy little face over the edge of the table with her little nose sniffing away at a thousand miles a minute.  Who the hell does this cat think she is!?!?!  After getting thumped on the sniffer, she collapsed on the chair again and really gave me the evil eye.  But the Pumpkin is the least of my worries….this stupid blue dragon is going to make me crazy.  The Hubby, always very helpful, informed me that my dragon looked like a smurf had hit the windshield….at which point I shut my eyes, counted to ten, and restrained myself from plopping the rest of the blue play-doh on his head.  The princess part of the cake was a separate smaller cake made just especially for the Princess of the Party.  You know, cause kids like to stick their hands in cake and icing and no one really wants to eat cake that has been manhandled by a slobbering child, no matter how cute she is….so she gets her own cake.  It’s a dome-like cake with a Barbie-doll like torso sticking out the top of the cake.  Skywalker affectionately referred to this prop as the bisected Barbie.  <shaking my head>  Now, I am starting to worry that I may be traumatizing this kid for life…I mean, smashed Smurfs and bisected Barbies?  What kind of terrible aunt am I?  I added pictures of the nightmare cake, along with some other disasters people pretended to like.  Enjoy.

 

So, anyway let’s talk about the party.  The Party had to be held on neutral ground because the 2’s are divorced and it wasn’t like one of those weird semi-amicable separations where the persons in question can still have a civil conversation.  No, this was one of those normal hatred-inspiring break-ups.  Never mind that it’s been like 15 years….completely irrelevant.  But this is one of those tests for the 2’s that we subject them to occasionally.  The first was my marriage to the Hubby.  Then Sister 2’s marriage to her husband.  Then the birth of the Princess.  And now her first birthday.  The 2’s must get along for these festivities or risk being banned from all future functions.  They have successfully passed the tests so far, but we always hold our collective breath, kind of waiting for the figurative dam to break.  So all the 2’s will be in one house together.  Dad #2’s new wife will not be there because she has to work….which is good for the Hubby’s sanity, but not for the entertainment factor of the Party.  The Party is being held in Sister #2’s husband’s sister’s house.  I think she was his sister, but maybe not.  Honestly, I didn’t spend too much time with the lady of the house because she was acting like she was on meth….quite disturbing the way she was flitting around the house ordering people to eat and be merry.  So anyway, Sister 2’s husband’s family is basically hosting the Party and decided it would be a good idea to have the party on the same Sunday as the opening day of football season.  Not really the opening day, since the Skins lost on the real opening day which was a Thursday….but come on….who has a party and invites men to it and expects them to NOT watch football.  That was Mistake #1.  So the men are grumbling and annoyed and to make matters worse the drink options were: some weird watered down lemonade thing, ice tea, and sangria.  No beer.  Mistake #2.  And now for the other interesting little bit of party etiquette – the invite said the party was from 2pm to 4pm.  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.  It takes the 2’s that long to say hello and goodbye.  There is a less than zero chance this party is going to be over in two hours, I can pretty much guarantee that.  Sister 2’s in-laws are in for a rude awakening if they think they’re going to get us out of this house in two hours….heehee.  Mistake #3.

 

So we arrive after a harrowing trip in the car with me gripping the cake and the Hubby remembering that the clutch in my car is easier than the clutch in his truck and jerking us around between first gear and second gear as much as was probably humanly possible.  This cake weighs like a hundred pounds and so my arms hurt by the time we get to Urbana.  And no, Urbana is not very urban…which you may have assumed by the incredibly inappropriate name of this Podunk town out in the middle of Nowhere, Cowville.  The house is beautiful.  It’s big and airy and the weather is gorgeous.  The Princess is perched on her throne eating little bits of apple or some other kind of fruit she can stuff in her mouth.  Everyone is ooing and gooing over her.  We say hello to everyone and re-introduce ourselves to Sister 2’s in-laws who seem to conveniently forget our names after every function we see them at.  Princess Alyssa discovered the house dog pretty quickly.  Her loyal steed.  She pounded on the poor dog’s back for about twenty minutes and tried to hug him a lot while she was falling down.  This child is fearless.  Next came the presents.  The little munchkin was of course more interested in the tissue paper and the boxes than she was in the actual presents….but whatever.  Next came cake, which was a huge success in the end.  Everyone at least said they thought it looked cool…which is really the only thing that matters to me.  If you can at least lie well enough to convince me that you may actually, deep down, think this cake could be edible….then that’s great.  This Princess got her princess cake.  We sang Happy Birthday while she stared at us from her throne.  Then Sister #2 informed her that she could eat the cake and she just looked at it for about two minutes….which I’m sure to everyone else seemed like no time at all….but to me, it was an eternity.  Oh dear Lord, what if this kid doesn’t like cake?!?!?  I don’t think I can relate to people who don’t like cake?!?!?!  This will be a serious setback in our relationship if this kid doesn’t start stuffing that cake in her mouth real soon.  So while everyone is staring at the little ewok….I start using my Jedi mind tricks to make her eat the stupid cake.  She wrinkles up her little angelic face and slowly lifts her hand.  It’s like waiting for the space shuttle to lift off…we’re all kind of holding our breath and pretending to still care.  Except for me.  I have a vested interest in seeing if this ship makes it to space.  And then, with as much pomp and circumstance as a one-year old can summon, the Princess sticks her little finger right into the cake and then licks the icing off her hand.  Her loyal subjects cheer at this amazing accomplishment and I let out a big sigh of relief.  We watched her eat the cake, one finger at a time, for another ten minutes before someone suggested that everyone else get some cake….the Princess has clearly been perfecting her hypnosis powers which little kids are actually born with, in case you didn’t know.  So no one spit out the cake, which is another good sign and now it’s 4pm.  Nan announces to anyone within earshot that someone will have to drag her out if they want her to leave.  <smile>  Hmmmmmm, someone’s been sampling the sangria…….

 

It only took about one more hour for the In-laws to get the 2’s out of the house.  The Party I think was a huge success.  Sister 2 and the Hubby got through despite their elevated levels of anxiety thanks to the divorcees.  The Princess discovered that she likes tissue paper, dogs and icing.  All good things.  And no one vomited after eating the cake.  All in all a good day.  We could have used some more drama to make it interesting….but drama has its place and this may not have been it.  Back to the present day now, and I am still disconnected.  I came to expect this at home thanks to the evil cable company….but not at work.  At work I could always pretend to be working just because I was connected…..  And now I don’t even have the option of not working….<sigh>……kind of begs the question, doesn’t it?  Is being disconnected….a good thing?

 

Maybe…..maybe not.

 

Later gators,

Heather

Soooooooooooooo....this last weekend was fun.  Labor Day.  Three days off.  Sun and relaxation.  Well, to be more accurate, sleep and relaxation.  At least that was the plan.  How often do my plans actually get carried out the way I intend?  Not very often.  Which is why, unfortunately, I continue to have to be just a teensy tiny bit educated about presidential nominees since I....alas.....do not rule the universe yet.  Things go awry for a number of reasons, not the least of which being the fact that the Hubby rarely remembers to tell me important bits of information about the schedule.....like when parties start.  But, before I get too riled up about this past weekend, let me first explain what was going on.

 

On Saturday, we were invited to an engagement party.  Another engagement party for the same couple who had the last engagement party....or I guess this was really a "Pre-Wedding Party for Everyone Who Doesn't Want to Fly/Drive/Walk to Florida for a Wedding" party.  And because the Hubby is the Best Man, we were of course obligated to attend.  I didn't mind going because Future-Hubby has been a friend of ours forever and Future-Wife is really nice even though her ridiculously young friends have gravity-defying boobs that make me want to lash out in rages of violent envy.  No.  I didn't mind going.  I'd know a few people there and it's on a Saturday and parties don't make me totally crazy.....not totally crazy.  Some parties make me crazy because the Hubby is the only one who knows anyone....and that means I'm sitting around talking to all the other wives and girlfriends that don't know anybody either.  And let me tell you something that I'm sure you already know by now - it's really difficult talking to most women because we're such nasty people.  That's right boys....it's not just you being incompetent boring losers....women really are that hard to talk to.  Of course, I don't try really hard....I mean why make an effort with people who are catty and passive with a hint of subtle cynicism.  There is the alternative, which is me pretending to care about one of a billion stories being told by one of those irreverent happy smiling freaks.  You know the type....I'm sure you do.  They're at all the parties.  They smile all the time and they have lots of energy and why wouldn't they be bouncing off the walls after shot-gunning three red bulls and sucking all the energy out of you using the tentacle their alien leaders gave them to quietly take over the planet by lulling you into a coma with their stupid stupid stupid stories.  <sigh>  I think I'd rather chat with the Nastiness than pretend to care about the Sickeningly Happy.

 

But like I said, I knew people at this party, so no big deal.  This is gonna be fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun.  Except of course for the one glaringly obviously important little factoid that the Hubby failed to mention - this party was outside.  Whattttttttttttttt?  In......<pause>.....Nature?!?!?!  Are you serious?  Ok, I know I've been over and over how much I hate Nature...but let's talk a little about how much I hate that blasted Maryland humidity and the evil evil Sun.  I really hate them.  So, we show up at this "party", walk up one of those driveways that are 18 miles long on an incline....so I'm pretty much sweating buckets and ready to collapse from heat exhaustion by the time we get to the house....except.....what's this?  Everyone is standing around...........out...............side.  This is so not cool.  It's about 2 in the afternoon, so that the Sun is blasting its evil death rays onto my huge pumpkin head.  And no, I am not wearing any sunscreen because nobody (translate: the Hubby) told me this thing would be outside.  So my head is radiating, I'm sweating, I'm miserable and that's when the gnats come.  It was just perfect weather for the little oogey boogey bugs.  And now I feel like running, screaming at the top of my lungs, all the way down the mountainside these ridiculous people chose to live on to my beautiful car that has blessed air conditioning...and no bugs.  Yup, you see that woman careening down the canyon sides you call a front yard?  She is not friends with Nature.  I mean, seriously, who in their right mind would spend so much time in sticky buggy Nature....on purpose?  Seriously?

 

So we were there pretty much all day.  He's the Best Man, remember?  It's not like we can drop in, say hello and then get the hell out of there.  Nope....we're in for the duration.  I have so many bug bodies mashed into my skin and hair, my head is now glowing like a nuclear reactor, parts of me are sweating that have never sweated before.....I am so grossed out by myself that I just want to go home and spend the next three days in a decontamination chamber.  Not to mention the fact that I'm exhausted.....completely utterly exhausted.  Smiling does that to me.  I don't use my face muscles very often for...you know....expressions and such....so when I force myself to look somewhat pleasant and in tune with those around me for a good solid eight hours, I'm pretty much spent.  But I survived the whole fiasco....barely.....and hey, don't get me wrong.  The party was great!  The happy couple filched tons of presents and money out of their family and friends....it was a total success.  And a good party.  I was just totally miserable.  That's all.

 

And then I blinked and it was Sunday.  Time for the first of the birthday parties with the #2's.  This week we are celebrating Aunt #2 and Uncle #2 because their birthdays are kind of close together and this is what we normally do.  For those of you keeping track <ahem, stalkers, that means you> Princess Alyssa was born around this time last year.  So anyway, Auntie 2 and Uncle 2 are on their way over to Mom 2's house for the shindig.  All 2's will be there including Sister 2's husband who never comes to anything....so I guess we're all supposed to feel good and happy about that.  There was a lot of talk about politics.....which, if this party was any indicator, is a bad sign for the rest of the birthday season because I am not at all on the same page as the 2's when it comes to politics and that makes for some very serious lip-biting moments.  There was of course lots of food and plenty of it because God forbid the ten of us are ever hungry......ever.  Mom 2 was fretting because she could not find the dessert mints she bought and she kept........on................asking everybody if they knew where the mints were?  You know, just in case one of us had broken into the house earlier and hid them....just to be funny.  I cannot stand questions like that.  I usually just chuckle, assuming that it's rhetorical....and you know.....you're not supposed to answer rhetorical questions, even though some people do.....not answering them is what makes them rhetorical....kind of.....but some people answer anyway and some people ask questions that sound like they're rhetorical but that's not how they were meant.  The 2's ask rhetorical questions that are not actually rhetorical all the time.  I am also forced to answer nicely, without the usually sarcasm dripping down my chin, because I have tricked the 2's for the last 12 years or so into thinking I'm an agreeable person and good for their son....and I'll be damned if I'm giving up that facade any time soon.

 

Anyway, so after agreeing to some completely ridiculous definition of 'conservative'. and swearing on all that is holy that I still do not know where the mints are, opening presents.....sorry blowing out candles, posing for the camera like we just blew out candles and then opening presents, and pretending to care about some very lop-sided college football game on TV, we can now focus our attention on the highlight of the party which of course was and will continue to be for some time - the Baby.

 

Princess Alyssa is walking and is quite possibly the most brilliant thing I have ever seen in all my decades on this planet.  She has not been walking for long and so this is still something of a new sensation, and possibly she learned this differently than other babies, and possibly I just never noticed before because I'm not a big fan of babies in general....but she looked exactly like a zombie walking around the party on Sunday.  She had her little arms out in front of her to make grabbing whatever happened to be within arm's reach of grabbing much easier.  And she kind of swayed back and forth a little....you know that whole balance problem.  Stupid gravity.  And the walk was a little herky jerky, but I think she may have been exaggerating that a bit on her own just to emphasize the zombie similarity because at some points she would dart across the room like she was on a mission and at other times she would just kind of lollygag around, walking kind of herky jerky.  Every once in a while when the balance problem became an impending balance disaster, she would flail her little arms about in little circles like a cartoon Baby or one of those 12-year olds on the balance beam a few weeks ago....then she'd regain her balance and continue to wander around the room grabbing for cups of gingerale and every single cracker those little elves could throw out of the tree....she may have eaten an elf by accident.  She has not mastered the sophisticated art of Turning or Pivoting and attempting to look over one's shoulder while not being able to Turn effectively is basically a fiasco in the making, and again, added to the whole zombie-dead-not-in-control-of-my-dead-corpse-limbs similarity.  Now despite how spot-on this impression was from Princess Alyssa, I refrained from pointing it out to Sister #2.  She's been giving me these weird sideways glances ever since she caught me kneeling in front of the Princess going <chhhhhhhhh, CHHHHHHHH> Alyssa, I am you Auuuuuuuuunt, with my hands covering my mouth.  The Baby, because babies are great this way, was completely mesmerized....obviously a future Star Wars fan in the making.  The Sister.....not so much.

 

The Baby, because babies are great this way too, has also become quite remarkable at sounding the alarm signifying the end of the party.  And by 'sounding the alarm', I of course mean screaming like a banshee.  A hungry, sleepy, cranky banshee.  If she wasn't related to us and the most perfect baby in the whole wide world, it would probably be a very annoying and disturbing sound.  The silver lining, we have discovered, is that once the alarm has been sounded everyone starts to leave the party automatically.  It has a domino effect which meant we got to go home much earlier than anticipated on Sunday and I was very grateful for that considering I needed to have my fifth shower of the day to continue to scrub bug guts out of my hair.  <grossed out shiver>.

 

I don't remember Monday at all.  It was a haze of recovery.  I was either hung over with sun poisoning or I have contracted West Nile virus or the baby ate my brain.  Next weekend is the Party of the Century.  Princess Alyssa turns one and ALL the relatives will be at this Ball.  I am making a castle cake and I can't wait to tell you all about it..................

 

Later gators,

Heather