So Jerry just got voted out on the last episode.  But Erinnnnnnnnnnnnn came kind of close.  Coach has more reasons to despise Erinnnnnnnnnnnnn since she picked Brendan to be the leader instead of him.  But instead of being bitter about it, the next morning he defers to Brendan as the new leader of Timber.  I’m being totally sarcastic about the bitter part, by the way.  Coach thinks he’s a Discovery Channel star, can live in the wild for years at a time on termites and muddy river water, and should be leading this tribe to victory.  <chuckle>  What an idiot.  At least he kept all that between him and America and didn’t bother to share it with the tribe….his restraint may be the only thing that saves him on this show.  At least for a little while.  The Crazy Mormon, by the way, didn’t care one way or the other who was the leader….and that guy is starting to become my favorite.

 

Back at Jellybelly, Taj explains the super secret alliance to Stephen the Nerdy New Yorker.  He’s all for it, saying he just stumbled ass-backwards into a huge opportunity.  Good call buddy.  Then back at Timber, they get the tree mail for the challenge but Brendan hasn’t talked to Sierra yet about the challenge….so she won’t know why she’s getting voted into Exile….or who to pick to go with her.  Good job Brendan…keep it a secret from everybody…..including the people who are supposed to know.

 

The challenge is weight-lifting basically.  Or weight bearing.  Three tribespeople (two guys and a girl) have to hold a pole across their shoulders while the other team decides who gets the sandbags hooked onto their poles.  Whoever is the last person left standing, wins reward for their tribe.  The reward seems kind of lame, the winning team gets to loot the camp of the losing team.  Really?  That’s it?  Cause clearly one of the tribes would get a lot more out of that reward than the other one….and of course two people are going to Exile.  Taj, Joe and Bama for Jellybelly and Brendan, Crazy Mormon and Debbie are for Timber.  So Brendan gets loaded down first and he’s taken out with 200 pounds on him.  The Crazy Mormon drops his pole with 140 pounds on it….which seems pretty good considering he probably only weighs 65.  So Debbie is the last Timber standing.  Then JT drops out with 220 pounds on him.  Then Joe.  So now it’s Taj against Debbie….and I think we all know who is going to win this one.  Taj does hug Debbie at the end, which I think showed a lot of good sportsmanship because Debbie was working her heart out.  So Taj picks Sicky Sierra to go to Exile and since Sicky has no idea what the hell is going on, she picks Taj.  <chuckle>  Girls only pretend to be able to read your mind Brendan….<whispering> it’s not something we can actually do….

 

So Timber is worried that Jellybelly will take all of their beans.  Why would they want your poison beans?  That’s what got Jerry voted out!!  HAHAHAHAHAHA.  So Joe and Bama show up to raid Timber’s camp and Jellybelly probably picked the two nicest guys to send….never a good idea.  Debbie successfully convinces them not to take all of the poison beans…and of course nobody bothered to thank Debbie for that….but whatever.  Salty Sandy thinks just taking one bag of poison beans was stupid.  And she kind of goes on and on about it and Sydney tells us how annoying this is to everyone.

 

Who the hell is Sydney?

 

Ok.  Meet Sydney.  Sydney is a pretty flirty blonde.  Pretty and flirty basically automatically means all the boys like you and all the girls hate you.  Sydney seems kind of dumb to me….but she can’t be that dumb because she’s totally taking advantage of her assets with the boys.  Boys are easy.  I’d love to give her more credit for the very obvious manipulating…..but I just can’t bring myself to do it.  I hate her too….because she’s pretty and flirty…..and I don’t think it’s good for my blood pressure or my karma to lie to about that.

 

Over at Exile, Taj gets the next clue at where the hidden idol is…then she fills in Sicky on the super secret alliance.  Thankfully, Sicky is totally on board.  And how did she luck her way in to this?  She picked Brendan to trust.  Lucky lucky.  Everybody is loafing around back at Timber, and then the Crazy Mormon comes waltzing in wearing just a loin cloth….<shaking my head>….Debbie starts hyperventilating.  It’s funny because the guy is really not very attractive.  He’s too skinny and he has a weird looking face…..but he is hi-larious.  Good idea to make people laugh too.  Cut over to Erinnnnnnnnnnnnnn who is incapable of laughing at anything because she just went through a really bad break-up before the show <sniffle, sniffle>.  I am crying silent tears of empathy for you Erinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.  No…no I’m not.  That’s a lie……I could really care less.  The Crazy Mormon says he’s pretty much written her off but would like to see her freak out when she gets voted off….<smile>.  Wow.  I really love that guy.

 

Time for the Immunity challenge.  So it’s another race to get the pieces and put the puzzle together challenge.  They seem to be doing a lot of these in this season, right?  The puzzle pieces are tied up in knots and Jellybelly has a lead until Sexy Sydney gets on the course and can’t figure them out.  Timber now has the lead.  The boys close the gap, and the tribes are pretty much even when they start the puzzle.  The phrase in the puzzle is “Escape the vote.  Timber wins immunity.”  Which I guess means that Jellybelly is pretty much screwed, huh….HAHAHAHAHAHA….I’m just kidding.  Obviously their puzzle said Jellybelly instead of Timber.  But it didn’t matter, because Timber finally won a challenge.  Imagine that.  How long has it been?  Like the whole show? 

 

So Jellybelly is really down.  Except for Salty Sandy, who says keep your chins up kiddies.  But in a really annoying way.  Taj thought they were due for a loss.  She’s dehydrated.  She wants to find the idol with the New Yorker but tribal is closing in fast.  Joe is kind of glad they get to vote out someone….someone whose name rhymes with ‘Andy’.  <pause>  AAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA….you’re hysterical Joe.  Seriously.  <pause>  Hysterical…..<sigh>.  Clearly Joe has been hypnotized by the witch Sexy Sydney.  Out in Alligator Pond, Taj is suggesting to New Yorker, Salty Sandy and Bama that they vote out the temptress….I don’t think the boys are totally convinced by her argument.  The Hubby, by the way, is snorting over on his couch and muttering things about having someone around who is easy on the eyes and that’s important for men and blah blah blah.  I will never totally understand boys, but at least you all are straight forward enough about your priorities.  I think it is fairly obvious that Salty Sandy is going to get the boot.  These guys aren’t going to vote off the temptress…..not this early in the game. 

 

The editors do their best to make it seem like it could go the other way…..but come on.  Salty Sandy over Sexy Sydney?  Those are like 50 to 1 odds…..now it’s time for Tribal Council.  Jeffy poo starts with Salty Sandy and she says she thinks she fits in really well…..awwwwwwwwww…..the delusions could be coming from heat stroke….or dehydration.  Let’s try not to make fun of her.  Then Jeffy poo kind of leads her into talking about Sydney being such a slut.  Oh…..did I say that?  Hahahaha…..that’s not what I meant to say.  She’s just wearing Bama’s underwear.  That’s all.  Ok….now if anyone seriously thought that Sydney might be getting voted out at this point in the show, pick up that stapler on your desk and beat yourself in the head with it.  You’re an idiot.  Sydney says it’s really hard being so beautiful and loved by men…..<gag, choke, gargle, scream>……Taj says she doesn’t have a problem with the men picking Sydney because she’s pretty and Jeffy poo is like ‘come on’ and Taj is like, oh no, I have NO FU**ING problem with it!!!!!!  Hahahahaha, that’s not really what she said….but it might as well have been…..very passive.  Time to vote.  Once the votes are read, the decision is final.  The person voted out will have to leave the tribal council area immediately.  It’s………<drum roll>…………..Sssssssssssssssssssssandy.  But you knew that.  Salty voted for Sexy and Taj voted for Joe….probably just so she wouldn’t have to vote for Salty.  This was the least surprised I have ever been at the outcome of a Survivor vote…

 

Later gators,

Heather

So back from tribal council and Erin with two n's is trying to convince everyone that she didn't trust Candace and blah blah blah.  Nobody believes her.  She sounds kind of bitchy when she talks and everyone is sort of rolling their eyes at her.  At least she knows she needs to do well at some challenges or deflect the tribe rage away from her some other way.  Coach is still being annoying and whiney, saying that Erinnnnnnn is innnnnnnnsulting their innnnnnnntelligence with all this nonsense about how she wasn't really allied with Candy.  He's frustrating and the stalker mullet really has to go.....it's creeping me out.  He's going to look like a character straight out of a horror movie by the end of this season....if he makes it that far.  Personally, I think he's going to piss off too many people, especially after Erinnnnnnnnnnn outed him at tribal by pointing out that nobody wants him to be the leader (uh oh, spoiler, forget that till the end).  Oh and Jerry has been eating too many beans.  Clearly not used to so much fiber in his diet.  Beans are a power super food Jerry, you should really have more of them in your diet, but if you're not used to it....being stranded out in the Brazilian highlands is not the place to get used to it...

 

Over at Jellybelly we get to see them try to use a fishing net.  The Hubby is screaming at the TV, hoping they'll hear him obviously.  But I don't think they did and just kept doing it the wrong way.  They did luck themselves into some minnows and then eventually into a few decent sized fish. 

 

Now it's time for the reward challenge.  Most of the tribe is blindfolded and tied together in groups of two and have to get themselves through a maze using one other tribe member as the 'eyes'.  Once they get through the maze, they have to fill up their buckets with water and then corn and then bring it back to a big bucket.  Look, if you didn't see it....it was a train wreck.  As the blindfolded challenges usually are.  The reward is all of this comfort stuff likes umbrellas and pillows and blankets and stuff.  More exile at the end.  So Jellybelly pretty much dominated this challenge from the beginning.  Debbie was the caller for Timber and she kind of sucked at it....her voice wasn't loud enough and she wasn't very specific with people.  Joe was the caller for Jellybelly.  Joe's job is described as real estate sales and so I imagine he was super-motivated to be making some money at the end of this show.  But really....Jellybelly blew them out of the water.  They pick, or rather Taj picks, Brendan to go back to Exile.  And Brendan picks Taj to go back with him....now why isn't anyone getting suspicious about this?

 

Back at Timber and Debbie is sorry she sucked so bad.  Coach is being whiney and annoying and keeps talking about getting rid of Erinnnnnnnnnnnnn.  He's chatting with his new buddy the naked Mormon and tells Tyson that he's like Coach's assistant coach.  Which is completely ludicrous and exactly what you would expect a coach to say.  Tyson takes it all in stride, but then he tells the Camera Guy that he's going to be the Coach soon enough and he'll make everybody call him Coach.  I'm starting to like Tyson a little more even though he's a little creepy looking too.  Quick flash over to Jellybelly and how happy they are, and then back to Coach for more whining and passive aggressive complaining and I just wish someone would beat the crap out of him at this point.  Or maybe he'll get eaten by an alligator....I assume they're gators so far inland.  Anyway....

 

On Exile Brendan and Taj keep scheming.  The new clue, which Taj immediately shared, said the idol was surrounded by wood or something like that.  They also talk about who from their tribes they should to send back from their tribes and get in on this whole Exile Alliance.  They decide on Sicky Sierra and Steven with a ph, the New York Jew. 

 

Now it's time for the Immunity Challenge.  Two at a time, the tribe members have to roll a big block back to their tribes.  The blocks are big oversized puzzle pieces which spell out their tribe names while at the same time build a set of stairs.  They can't build the stairs until they have all the blocks back.  Timber got all of their blocks back first and for a few seconds you think they have a shot at winning.  But they don't.  They fall apart when they try to decide how the blocks go together.  Jerry blames himself because of the poison beans.  But I think it was probably someone else, or just the whole team dynamic. 

 

So back at Timber's camp, there is more plotting.  Erinnnnnnnnnnnnn realizes that Jerry is sick and that she can deflect deflect deflect.  Coach says she made an evil face when she realized she could do this....which makes me laugh.  First of all that she made that face, because I didn't see it and second of all that it bothers Coach so much.  I think I can say with great confidence that the most irritatingly over-confident trash talkers around are athletes.  You don't hear auditors acting so belligerent.  Well....not that often.  Nobody can hear us in the outfield.  So, Sicky Sierra is not convinced by the Erinnnnnnnnnnnnnn plan, saying nobody had a problem voting out the sicky when it was her.  Tyson tries to get Jerry to act less poisoned by the beans and says they're still voting for Erinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.  Erinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn says to the Camera Guy that she is going to point out how sick Jerry is to try to swing the vote toward him, which is a great way of pointing out the obvious to us.  It's her only play.  I get it.  Tyson says he hopes they can blindside Erinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn because he wants to see her cry.  And now he's my most favorite player.  What a fun mormon!  I want to see her cry too!!!!!!!!!

 

At Tribal Council, Erinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn says nobody would listen to her at the challenge and she knew how to put the blocks together right the first time.  And it was frustrating.  Grrrrrrrr.  Ok hon, we know.  You're better than everybody else.  Brendan tries to say they all communicated well together...come on man, if you want to be the leader of this tribe you're going to have to lie a little better than that.  Oh right, he could care less because he found the hidden immunity idol.  Step 1 to the Sneaky Exile Alliance.  Oh wait, they didn't talk about him being the leader until after he said they were such good communicators.  Jerry elected him as their leader.  Coach thinks he should be the leader.  Erinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn says no way.  Coach says she just doesn't like me.  <pretend innocent look>  What do you mean?  I didn't know we had a personality conflict.  Ok hon, no Oscars coming your way any time soon.  <sigh>  Jerry says they're gettin rid of their weakest player....hmmmm....you better hope not Beanie.  Once the votes are read, the decision is final.  The person voted out will have to leave the tribal council area immediately.  It's him, it's Jerry.  Can't have someone that is poisoned by beans on the show....I wish it had been Erinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn though.

 

Later gators,

Heather

Ok.  It's week 2 of Survivor which translates into something like Day 2 out in the Brazilian highlands.  Quick recap for everybody - two teams, one I am calling Jellybelly and the other one is Timber.  It's really hot in Brazil.  Sandy doesn't know what a pace is, but Caroleena couldn't keep her mouth shut so she got voted out first.  Everybody gets back to Jellybelly and starts going on about how hard that was at tribal council.  Really?  Cause it's like day 2 and you didn't even know her....and you probably hated her because she's got big boobs.....so don't pretend like you didn't want to vote her out.  Bus Driver still thinks she's next in line and she's probably right unless someone else makes a big faux pas like Caroleena.  The next morning, the boys are tired of fruit already so they decide to rip apart a termite mound like mighty hunters and eat the little creepy crawlies.  Yup.  This is Survivor.  And that was gross. 

 

At Timber, Sierra still hates everyone for voting for her....ahhhh....come on.....buck up, kiddo.  I'm sure it's going to get much worse.  So anyway, she decides to look for the hidden immunity idol.  And she decides she needs help.  So she picks Brendan to trust since he didn't vote for her in the beginning.  I would pick him for that reason too.  So they decide to dig a HUGE hole in the middle of the beach.....cause that's not conspicuous or anything....and then the older blonde lady wanders out there and is like, watcha guys doing?  Looking for an idol?  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.  I'm just kidding....she didn't say that....she's blonde, so the fire pit story that Sierra gave her was enough.  So stupid.  A fire pit?  Really?  Candance starts day dreaming about fish cooked in oil and spices and blah blah blah...and Tyson goes, you know we can find all of that stuff?  And she's like, really?  And he's like, uh no.  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.  Candace does not appear to be the type of person who can take a joke, at least at her own expense.  And she seems very vindictive....this is female instincts talking people.  All women have this ability.  Men fight each other.  Women intuit.  But then....you already knew we could read minds, so this shouldn't be too hard to accept either.  <smile>  Candace doesn't get along with Coach....they argue about how to cook beans.  Or maybe it was the rice.  Or maybe it was the beans.  Or maybe I could care less.....I don't like Coach.  And I don't like Candace.  Anyway, Coach tries to smooth things over with her...but she's stubborn and annoying and she has big boobs too, so you know all the other girls already hate her.

 

Switch back to Jellybelly and everybody is sitting around chatting.  Someone nonchalantly asks Taj what her husband does for a living.  He's a football commentator.  His name is Eddie.  And yes, I spelled it that way for a reason.  Immediately, the boys say, Eddie George?  Why yes....yes that's him.  No big deal, right?  TAJ!  What are you thinking?!?  Don't tell them your hubby is Eddie George?  Now they don't think you need the money and for some people that's enough to vote you out....one of them, I think it was Corporate consultant Steven with a ph says to the camera, I had no idea who they were talking about.  When he made that statement, the Hubby immediately turned and looked at me like he was going to say something, then he kind of grumbled and sighed at the same time, and turned back around.  <smile>  The Hubby thinks men should be born with the amount of sports knowledge he has logged away in his own brain....I guess he's not rooting for Steven with a ph anymore. 

 

Time for the reward/immunity challenge.  Why are they combining this?  Are we really that short on time?  I guess we are....so it's like a water polo match, except you have to get the ball in a basket thingy.  First team to three points, wins.  First network to have girls in bikinis falling off in the water wins the ratings.....ahhhhh Survivor.....your tactics are so unoriginal.  But effective.  The Hubby seems riveted to the screen.  They aren't any super cute boys on this season, so I could kind of care less.  Timber wins the first two points, then Jellybelly comes back to win.  Half drowning the competition was a good technique, I think.  <smile>  So Brendan is picked to go to Exile and apparently he gets to pick a member from the other team to go to Exile with him.  <perplexed look>  What?  That's new.  So he picks Taj.  Huh.  You might need that idol, sweetie.

 

Back at Jellybelly, the Bus Driver is relieved....here to stay for a few more days.  Then we learn that the Bama Country Boy - JT, is apparently the leader of the tribe....which I don't really see, except Steven with a ph thinks so.  In fact....Steven with a ph seems to be quite taken with JT.  Maybe it's because he's kind of obsessed with his own image as a NY City Jew and he's kind of surprised that he would like a good ol' country boy.  Bama clearly thinks that ph is a little nuts.  Especially when he attempts to spear some fish.  But Bama just smiles....this guy might be able to play it under the radar for a while....

 

At Exile, Taj and Brendan each have to pick a jar.  Brendan's is the one with the clue.  It says he can share it if he wants to, the idol is in the tribal homelands, and twist number 2 - he can switch tribes if he wants to.  That's awesome.  They always change it up on this show and even though Trusty Brendan says he has no intention of switching tribes now....you just know that will come into play later.  Taj convinces him to show her the clue, because he's a pushover, and she tells him right off that it must be back at their camps.  Duhhhhhhhhhhhh!  So they make a pact to try to get back to Exile and work together and lie to their camps about not finding anything.  I like both of these players......so far.

 

Cut over to Timber where everyone is scrambling about the Tribal vote.  Candace thinks Coach needs to go.  I told you, she's vindictive.  Blondie runs back to Coach and blabs about Candy's plan.  He says the "poison apple needs to go".  <yuck>  This guy just makes me cringe.  I think I'd prefer having Candy around for her bitchiness than this guy with his ingratiating ways.  Then we get to see Candy chatting with Erin with two n's about how safe they are because everyone knows how valuable they are on the tribe......hehehehehehehehe......oh honey.  Even the producers don't know how to make this less obvious.....Brendan gets back to camp, lies to everyone about the idol and because he's so darn trustworthy, they believe him.

 

Time for the tribal council.  Sierra is ok with everyone voting for her before.  Candy says, it was hard because she didn't hike through the desert with us.  Jeffy poo asks Trust Brendan about Exile.  Coach says he trusts the guy 100%.  Erin with two n's says you can't trust anybody.  Blondie says, I trust EVERYONE.  Hehehehehehehe.....ok then.  Jeffy poo says it's time to vote.  Once the votes are read, the decision is final.  The person voted out will have to leave the tribal council area immediately.  Everybody but Candy voted for Candy, so you know with Erinnnnnnnnnnnnn thinks you can't trust anybody....because you apparently can't trust her.  Ahhh, Candy.  The lesson you should have learned a little faster - thinking you're awesome is not the same thing as everyone else thinking you're awesome.  <smile>

 

Later gators,

Heather

 

 

It’s that time of year.  Football is over.  The days are slowly getting longer.  Time for SURVIVOR!!  That’s right.  Survivor is back on.  This is one of my favorite shows ever.  Aside from the misery of seeing dreams crushed for all eternity in American Idol…it gives me no end of pleasure to see these everyday people suffering in the elements….by choice!  Starving, getting eaten alive by bugs and other gross nature things, trying to co-exist with other crabby pissy humans….it’s awesome.  We have seen every single season and this one is no exception.  So let’s get to it.

 

This season Jeffy poo and all the contestant Survivor wannabes are in Brazil.  Some place called Tocantins.  It’s in the middle of Brazil….the very center.  I looked it up.  We start the show with Jeffy and all the posers on some truck in the outback.  Jeffy tells us that they have already been divided into two teams….with names I naturally cannot pronounce or hope to coming even close to spelling correctly.  So we’ll call them Jellybelly and Timber.  These people are going to be abandoned in the middle of nowhere for 39 days.  There are 16 of them…but only one Survivor.  Jeffy makes the same speech every season. 

 

We met a few people right off the bat – Erin with two n’s, Spiky hair Tyson, Steven with a ph, the old Bus Driver Sandy, Sickie Sierra and the Longhaired Coach, Spencer, Sydney, Joe, Caroleena, JT, Taj, Debbie, Jerry, Brendan and Candace.

 

So the truck is loaded with supplies and the teams have 60 seconds to get as much off as they can….it’s total chaos.  I love it.  It seems obvious that in order to….I don’t know…..survive, you would want…oh, I don’t know…..food and water.  <shrug>  That may be slightly overrated…..or not.  But apparently, Jellybelly didn’t think they needed any.  It’s 110 degrees outside and that may be scrambling their brains…..and now the teams have to trek 4 hours to get to camp.  Wow…..that suuuuuuuuuuuuuuucks.  This whole “trekking” idea is why I will never be on this show.  Not to mention the nature part.  And the starving part.  <shaking my head>  That just doesn’t sound like a real good time to me….And just when you think you know what is about to happen, Jeffy poo throws a wrench in the whole thing.  First vote.  Before they leave.  Hehehehehehehehehe….someone is seriously going home before they even start?  Before they say more than three words to everyone?  NooOOOOooooooo….they wouldn’t do that?  Would they?

 

It’s Bus Driver Sandy and the Sickie Sierra that get the votes.  Sandy because she’s old and Sierra because she’s sick.  They’re both upset….because they think they’re going home.  But they’re not.  They get to go on a helicopter ride to the campsite….and Sandy starts laughing about it.  Jeffy points out that laughing might not be the way to go here.

 

So off the teams go in the blazing heat….hoping they don’t melt before they get to camp.  We start with Jellybelly.  Spencer is hot…and I mean literally hot.  Not figuratively.  He’s 19 and thinks he’s the youngest contestant ever to be on the show….he might be right.  What’s a 19 year old gonna do with a million dollars?  JT is 24 and he’s from Alabama and he’s used to the heat.  Steven with a ph is a New York Jew, which is how he described himself.  The label said he’s a corporate consultant….so he clearly doesn’t need the money at all.

 

Over at Timber, we learn that Erin with two n’s is a hairstylist and she’s already wondering what she’s doing here….honey, it’s been like five minutes…..hold yourself together.  Jerry is a sergeant in the Army, just back from Afghanistan.  I think he’s probably used to the heat.  Coach….who I don’t think actually has a name….is a symphony director and a college soccer coach.  He calls himself a renaissance man….which is annoying.  I already don’t like him.  Anyone who calls themselves a ‘renaissance man’…..that’s just stupid.  Coach talks to Brendan about only keeping the strong people on their team…which makes sense to me, but Brendan thinks Coach is a putz too. 

 

Sandy the Bus Driver gets to the camp and starts crying.  She’s kind of annoying too….then she finds out that she has the option of looking for an idol or building camp.  And naturally, she chooses to look for the idol.  Because she hates her team for thinking she’s old and knows this is the only way to stay on the island.  Hmmmm….way to think ahead there Sandy.  That’s good strategy.

 

Sierra gets to her camp and we find out that she’s a model.  Aha…okay.  Should have eaten a few cheeseburgers before coming out here to starve yourself.  Sierra thinks that she can gain some favor with the team by building some shelter….and she’s right, of course.  But I think they may find her crushed under some of those leaves she’s holding….this girl doesn’t look very sturdy at all.

 

Sandy is a little nuts we find out when we get the chance to watch her search for the idol….Jellybelly sees the flag and realizes that she hasn’t done anything the entire time which irritates Caroleena.  Yes, it’s spelled Carolina….but you say it like Caroleena.  She’s a bartender and I can already tell she’s gonna have trouble keeping her mouth shut. 

 

Timber finally gets to their camp when it’s dark and everybody is thrilled to have the shelter built….except No-name Coach who still thinks Sierra needs to go.

 

Cut back over to Jellybelly and now they’re building a shelter.  Caroleena is bossing people around and that just never goes well.  Has this woman ever actually watched the show before?  Sandy finds another clue and then can’t figure out what a ‘pace’ is or see the only palm tree on the entire beach.  This is a train wreck.  In slow motion.  Everybody thinks she’s being antisocial….not looking good for the bus driver.

 

Over at Timber, Tyson who is a Mormon, gets naked and goes for a swim.  Just to be funny.  Sierra thought it was hi-larious…which I’m not so sure Tyson should be happy about but whatever….Tyson is kind of creepy looking….but he does get his clothes back on in time for…..

 

The First Challenge.  The teams have to run across the beach into the water and retrieve some planks that two other team members have to use to build stairs…but it’s like a puzzle.  Not the only puzzle though, once the stairs are built two other team members have to navigate some dangly thing through a maze to the end to raise their team flag.  Sound simple, right?  If they win, they get fire and immunity.  Both worth having.  They are both pretty much neck and neck…but Loud Mouth Caroleena is struggling.  Jeffy poo announces that it’s only 120 degrees outside, no biggy.  120 DEGREES.  Where are they?!?!?!  HELL?!?!?!?  Let me guess….it’s a dry heat, right?  No way….there is no way I would ever put myself through this…..I would just curl up in a ball and wait to die if I had to just stand around in this weather....let's not even talk about doing stuff in this weather.  I can’t stand heat….and I’m talking about a humid summer afternoon in loverly Germantown….not 120 DEGREES.  That’s just insane.  Jellybelly pulls ahead and starts their maze first.  But then Timber pulls even and then they win.  Sorry not to make it more suspenseful….but if you want suspense, you should have watched the show yourself you lazy jerks. 

 

So anyway, back at the Jellybelly camp, Sydney doesn’t want to vote for Sandy because she worked really hard in the challenge.  Loud Mouth Caroleena is getting all chatty in a really annoying way, telling everyone they need to finish stuff around the camp.  So Taj tells her to take it down a notch.  Spencer thinks the Bus Driver should stay too.  Wow….none of the boys like the Loud Mouth even though she has big cans. 

 

So it’s time for Tribal Council.  Everybody gets their torch and their fire and Jeffy makes his normal speeches.  Blah blah blah and then he asks Sandy if she’s crazy….yeah, because we’re all kind of wondering that.  Maybe she should ask him what a pace is….<shaking my head>….So it’s time to vote.  Hard to talk a lot about this because I don’t know these people well yet….but Sandy got the first vote and the Loud Mouth got the rest of them.  Babye Caroleena.  The lesson you should have learned a little faster…..boys aren’t nearly as impressed with your boobs out here in the wilderness as they may have been in the bar.  Sorry.

 

Ok….now I wish we could see another episode right away….that went by way too fast.  The Amazing Race starts this weekend….but no blog on that.  I do have a life.  And a job.  I can’t be on this stinkin’ computer all day!!  <smile>

 

Later gators,

Heather