It's go time people.  Or it was, rather, like last week sometime.  I do not have Internet access at work right now and it is reaaaaallllyyyyy messing up my life.  Remember when you had dial-up and the Internet was kind of a hassle?  Well...now people think I have died if I don't e-mail them every couple of days....so, just in case you were wondering.  I'm alive.  Alive and well.  Thanks for all the e-mail reminding me that I have this obligation to keep you people up to date on TV.  Seriously.  Too lazy....to watch TV?!?!?  You guys are unbelievable.  Anyhoo...it's go time.  Seacrest asks who will get the shock tonight?  I'm hoping it's the Pathetic Pens in game 2 of the series.  Ryan has a blue or black suit on...as usual I can't tell.  47 million votes were cast.  Randy is wearing pink.  Kara is wearing lavender.  Paula has a snazzy black number on...well....not really on.  Simon is wearing a white v-neck t-shirt which shows off his gross chest hair really well.  After being prompted by Ryan, Simon admits that everyone was good this week.  It's the most open competition they've ever had.  Yeah, we know.  Tonight we have Taylor "Who?" Hicks, Natalie Cole and Jamie Foxx.  Yes, Foxx is spelled with two x's....which I don't think I was doing before....sorry about that.  And a big super smile thank you to everyone who so nicely points out my mistakes.  You guys are super awesome.

 

We start of the night with this week's Ford music video commercial horror show disaster.  The kiddies are singing to 'Energy' and they are running through the desert.  Kinda corny....but it won't give me nightmares, and that's all I can really ask for at this point.  Then they sing their medley song - It don't mean a thing and I got rhythm.  Rhythm is the dumbest word in the world to spell by the way....what ass**le came up with that one.  Anyway, the song was kind of good and kind of annoying all at the same time.

 

We're back and Seacrest reminds everyone for thr 40billionth time that there's a summer tour coming up.  There were birthdays this week for Ironman and Red.  They made themselves a cake, I guess because AI is too cheap to get them one...and they ended up having a food fight.  The kitchen looked eerily similar to my kitchen after I attempt to bake a cake....but that's all I'll say about that.  AI got Danny a "gift" which was the cleaning bill from the most expensive maid service I have ever heard of...not sure if that was a joke.  Seacrest wasn't making it real clear. 

 

Now, everybody come center stage.  Dumbo go to the right.  Ironman go to the left.  Red go to the left too.  Kermit Kris go to the right.  Now Drama....you pick the winners.  And instead of sitting in the middle of the stage and refusing to play these reindeer games, Drama picks Ironman and Red.  And he's right.  Sort of.  That side is safe....but that's not where Drama belongs. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sorry.  I just fell off the couch again remembering that this happened.  I'm back now.  What in the HELL is wrong with you America?!?!  You get all mushy about this guy and then you DON'T VOTE FOR HIM?  You morons.  I hope he gets voted off, just to spite you.  So, Dumbo, Kermit and Drama are in the bottom three.  Simon congratulates Ironman and Red, which I thought was very classy.  And now it's time to listen to Natalie Cole, singing Something's Gotta Give.  She looks amazing, kind of thin, but amazing.  And of course she sounds wonderful.  And then to follow up that stellar performance, we get to hear Taylor Hicks.  He reminds of George Clooney in Oh Brother Where Are Thou.....still goofy....still has gray hair.  The song sounds real country.  He's playing the guitar and the harmonica.  It's a nice song.  Thanks for climbing out from under that rock where you've been hiding to share it with us.  The judges give him a standing ovation, which was nice but I'm sure none of them really meant that.  He was in Grease?  Did I hear that right?  He tells the losers that song choice is the most important thing at this point.  Yeah.  We know Taylor.

 

So bring out the three.  One of them is safe and it's Kermit.  Oh come ON!!  It's so obviously Dumbo going home....but we don't get to find out yet.  First it's Jamie Foxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.  He's singing Blame It.  Cool song....but I'd rather just look at him.  What a hottie.  You can't really hear him that well over the techno stuff and whatever they're doing to his voice, but what-ever.  So easy on the eyes....ok, so he talks about how talented the kiddies are while I wipe the drool off my notepad.  Seacrest asks him if America got it right and he very diplomatically says, it doesn't matter.  Then he plugs his movie.  And I didn't write down the title....so.....he's in a movie. 

 

Ryan points out that Kara and Randy seemed to be more on point this week, while Simon was way off base.  Now, dim the lights.  Blah blah blah, fake suspense....yada yada yada,  Drama is safe.  Dumbo is going home.  The saved one...is no longer safe.  Now we get to see his Idol Journey.  He's trying to hold it together and you know, I think he'll be ok.  Not a superstar, but he'll be ok.  The cat with 9 lives....there's the title to your first album Dumbo.  And since you've managed not to bawl your eyes out and run crying from the stage, now you must sing for us.  Next week is rock and roll week, which is cool except AI never seems to understand what rock is....Slash is the mentor which is hi-larious to me....how many of these kiddies don't know who Slash is?  I'm guessing enough to make me nauseous.  Seacrest thanks everyone.  Thank you and goodnight.

 

Down to four.  Close to the end.  I'm starting to have panic attacks....

 

GO CAPITALS!!!!!

Later gators,

Heather