We’re down to the top four.  The four tops.  Here’s Ryan in a gray suit, striped tie and perfect tan.  He says we’re very live tonight….whatever the hell that is supposed to mean.  Apparently there was some kind of accident on the stage earlier and the kiddies didn’t get a chance to do their rehearsals….that doesn’t sound good.  And Ryan says something about the kiddies performing duets tonight….duets?  What the hell?  With each other?  What is going on?  My world is turning upside down….ok, here are the judges.  Randy in bejeweled blue, Kara in cheap punk leather, Paula in a cute little dress and Simon in a very subdued grey t-shirt.  It’s classic rock week.  And the mentor is Slash.  And of course, here’s a montage about Slash and who he is…..oh dear Jesus…..who he is?!?!?!?!  Come on kids.  It’s Slash.  Great guitar….Guns and fing Roses.  Come on. 

Drama is singing first tonight.  I guess I should say something about the fact that he’s gay.  People keep asking me about it.  I didn’t think it mattered.  Sooooooooooooooooooooooo….he’s gay.  And I guess that would be a big deal if he won…..but I’m not totally sure why.  It’s not like they’re aren’t any gay singers out there in the world.  Really successful gay singers.  He picked Whole Lotta Love, Led Zeppelin classic.  Great great song…but I’m worried he picked it.  And why isn’t Slash playing the guitar?  Seriously….you have this amazing guitar player in the building and he’s not on stage?  I feel like Alice in Wonderland.  You know what though, Drama sounded pretty friggin good.  As usual.  Randy says this is the Adam I love, don’t even think about Broadway, you a rock star.  Kara called him a ‘Rock God’ and then said something about Nine Inch Nails which made me cringe.  I don’t like listening to her very much.  Paula thinks the band sounds great and then called Drama a whole lotta perfect.  Simon joked that he thought the performance was understated and then pointed out it could have been a disaster.  He says it was his favorite of all of Drama’s performances and nobody is gonna be able to top that.  Uh oh….if he thinks that now….

Red is singing second and she picked Crybaby by Miss Janis Joplin.  I think this is a great choice.  Slash says she needs to get over her fear….yeah, she’s 17.  Don’t get over it too quick.  I thought it was a great performance.  She has a great rock voice and she really got into it.  Very nice.  Randy says you can sing your face off <shiver>….why does he say crap like that?  He didn’t like the song choice though….wha whaaaaaaaaaaaat?!?  Kara thinks it was the right choice, bluesy rock, we can see your personality.  Paula called her fearless.  Simon thinks the difference between her now and then is staggering, showed a lot of confidence, it was kind of a sound-alike, he would have chosen a Queen song.  Then Red does something totally out of character and gets feisty with Mr. Cowell.  She has apparently finally had enough.  You go girl.  I think Simon likes her more for standing up for herself.

First duet of the night is Kermit and Ironman.  They picked Renegade by Styxx.  It’s a pretty good song, they sound really off in parts though.  And then in other parts they sound amazing.  Randy thinks they complimented each other really well, he says the individual singing was just ok.  Kara says the same thing.  But in a different way.  Man I hate her.  Paula thinks the duets are a great idea.  She called it powerful and compelling.  Simon says after chatting incoherently with Paula about how retarded she is….Danny you were better than Kris.  Ouch!  Simon…..that was harsh.

Time for Kermit to sing.  He picked the Beatles…..but not the song you would expect.  As soon as he said Beatles, the Hubby mumbles, Revolution.  Right?  But he picked Come Together….which I don’t really consider rock for some reason.  During his rehearsal, Slash loaned him a guitar.   Aiiiiiyiyi.  I would have been freaking out.  Take that guitar and run!  Heeheehee.  Slash says he needs to pick up the live performance and gives him some suggestions on how to perform while playing the guitar, if anybody would know it’s him.  It was pretty good, a little different.  But pretty good.  Randy says, I know you’re not a hard rocker, liked the vocals, loved the guitar.  Kara doesn’t think it was a great performance, she thinks he’s trying too hard.  Paula says it’s kind of risky to pick the Beatles but you gave it your own artistic signature.  Your imprint makes it compelling.  Tonight’s buzz word is apparently ‘compelling’.  <sigh>  Simon didn’t like it that much.  He said it was like eating ice for lunch.  AAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.  Where have all these fantastic Cowell-isms been?  That’s hysterical.  He said he was right that nothing could top Drama.  Hmmmmm…..Kermy might be in trouble.  You never know….

Ironman is the last to sing solo.  He picked Dream On by Aerosmith.  Ehhhhhh….I think this is a terrible idea…..I am quite positive nobody knows what a great singer Steven Tyler is…..but you’re about to.  Slash says he picked a tough song….which I think means he didn’t like it.  He says it could go either way.  It all depends on the scream.  And the scream sounded painful.  I think he may have hurt himself.  Literally.  <frowny>  Randy says I know this is not your genre, not great.  A for effort.  Nice Randy….nice demeaning non-compliment.  Kara says you have swagger and edge, but you took it too far.  Then she says I like to see growth….<sigh>…..no comment.  Paula says I don’t think it was the right song for you.  WOW….YA THINK?!?!  Not so much.  Then she gives him an A++ for effort and if I was him I would have walked off the stage right then.  Simon says the last note was like watching a horror movie.  AAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.  Awesome.  It totally was like watching a horror movie.  He says it was a little over the top, it didn’t work.  But you’re still gonna be safe.  Then Seacrest jinxes him by saying Danny boy has never been in the bottom three….uh oh.

Last song of the night is the second duet between Drama and Red.  They picked Slow Ride and they sound GREAT together.  They harmonize perfectly.  Randy says that was the bomb.  Kara says Rock God and Rock Goddess.  Nice and original, Kara.  Paula says they were the perfect blend, they should do a duet on their albums, it was a beautiful thing.  Simon says in the battle of the duets, you won.  Then he says, Drama, you may have given this one a chance to stay in the competition.  Wow….does he really think Allison is in trouble?

Because I don’t.  I think she was better than both Kermit and Ironman.

I guess we’ll see tomorrow.  Daughtry is tomorrow….and that’s all I heard before I started screaming and running around the room…..

Go CAPITALS!

Later gators,

Heather